BernanaRama
Thursday, February 14, 2008
old job dont go, new job dont come
DELIVERY DRIVER!!!
haha. most people know first hear it will be like, "Wah you work for MACDONALDS ah?" then when i say, "Nope." then they will ask, "Orh! so what you deliver?" then i was answer, "everything also deliver." knn like some Fedex advertisement like that.
WE LIVE TO DELIVER!!!
haha but anyway i deliver chap pa lang stuff, got anything from handphones to fans to kettles to documents to showcases to tables and chairs to posters to condoms (nahz just pulling your leg. haha). anyway that was my previous job, my next job is gonna be mocca.com!!! haha. dont worry ok i wont be selling a house with matching green pipes, i also wont be looking for a white maltese for sale and i am also not looking for someone to buy my car with a big boot (babes not included in boot). haha. anyway thats a story for another day cause tmr is my interview. Wish me luck! haha.
anyway there was a somewhat interesting thing that happened to me yesterday. it was a lazy sunny wednesday afternoon and i dragged my lazy bum off my cozy bed and ate bread with bacon and cheese as my "breakfast" (lol when i woke up it was already like 2 pm.) then i went out to nearby bukit merah central to buy groceries and use the AXS machine to collect movie tickets for JMPR (Jumper) . as i was queuing at the AXS machine, i heard this voice call out to me...
"XIAO DI DI..NI KE YI BANG WO MA?"
so i turned around and saw this uncle on the wheelchair selling big sweep tickets. (he always sell the big sweep tickets outside the NTUC) then he said he needed to go pee. so i thought it will be good to do a good deed. so i asked where he wanted to go pee. he said the bus interchange which was like just across the road. so i pushed him to the overhead bridge linking the NTUC and bus interchange. ok at this point, most normal people will think i damn crazy or damn garang, cause yall must be thinking...omg bernanaman kee siao liao, he is gonna carry the uncle up and down the overhead bridge. haha but the good thing is because this overhead bridge got lift! haha.
but the bad thing was when i got there, i saw this huge yellow sign in front of the lift entrance and i bet yall know what that means rite?
LIFT UNDER MAINTAINANCE!!!
then i thought to myself, aiyo jit pai siao liao lah and started wiping cold sweat pouring out of my forehead. haha but luckily the uncle know another route sia. which is to dash across the road. lol. i dont know what was worse, getting squashed to pancakes by buses or tumbling down the stairs with the uncle. anyway i had more chance chiong-ing across the road. so off we went and the buses and cars seem to whizzzz by unusually fast sia knn. but bo bian so i like look for the opportuned moment and just chiong ah!!! luckily all the drivers very understanding sia, see this poor uncle on wheelchair so never horn.
then after successfully bringing the uncle across to the interchange, i thought ok the hard part is over, the next hard part is just bringing him back across the road. but damn there was more to come! haha. i pushed the uncle into the toilet for the disabled and the next thing he said to me was...
XIAO DI DI, NI YE JING LAI
i swear if i was in a japanese anime, i would have this super distressed face...
but of course i didnt show it to him lah. then the next shock came right after i stepped into the toilet sia. he asked me to help pull down his pants!!! i swear i got this face in my mind at that point in time.
then he asked me pass him the bucket and i turned to look away while he did his thing. then another shock came again sia. he said..
XIAO DI DI, KE YI PASS WO TOILET PAPER MA?
then i was like wtf?!?!?!?!? omg dont tell me he wants to take a dump!?!?!? i almost went into cardiac arrest sia. there is only so much shock my puny heart can take sia. but luckily all he wanted to do was to wipe his "little brudder". then after he wipe up and clean his hands, i poured his urine away and washed the bucket and of course i washed my hands also lah! then i pushed him back to the NTUC and the Final Fantasy VIII music started sounding in my head. lol like i just complete a quest like that. haha. so after that i just went about doing my stuff and being a bernanaman
anyway that wraps up my little "quest" or "mission" or whatever you call it and i gotta say its a really unique experience. i dont know if i will ever take care of a disabled person, but at least now i know a little bit of what to expect. i also realised that it would really take a lot of determination to care constantly for a disabled or ill person for extremely long periods of time, just some food for thought yah?
Oh yah before i forget,
last but not least, a youtube video! enjoy and Cheerios!!! :)
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 8:30 PM [comment]
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008
bernana's blog is back!
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR AND GONG XI FA CAI TO
EVERYONE!!!
EVERYONE!!!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 12:33 AM [comment]
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Monday, January 7, 2008
fisherman's friend
Sia lah! i am officially a certified, bona fide, true-blue fisherman, lol, thats in my own opinion lah. but seriously i think i did not bad today considering the great increase in the amount of fish i managed to catch. haha. although some are quite small, but its still fish rite? haha. i even caught some fish to give to other fishermen as live bait to catch even bigger fish. haha and thats how i struck my first conversation with the resident fishermen ah peks at bedok jetty.
anyway fishing is seriously a very good leisure activity. you can learn some technique by watching and talking with the ah peks, it trains your patience, gives you some time away from the bustling city life, it gives you some time in the sun to get a tan and most importantly can bio char bor lah! haha. anyway talking about char bors, i realised one weird thing about the fishes. the taman always bite the bait whenever a char bors walk past sia. all i can say about the tamans, is that they are one bunch of very very "hum sup" (read: buaya, horny, desperate etc) fishes. i bet if you put one FHM magazine on the hook you can catch all the tamans in bedok jetty sia. haha.
anyway after fishing for like 4 or 5 hours i ended my mindless rampage on the poor fishes and headed to wash up and go for lunch. and on my way out of East Coast Park, i saw this familiar guy whom i saw once at bedok jetty and when he saw me, he asked,
"GOT TAMAN TODAY???"
honestly i got abit of a shock, cause i didnt expect him to talk to me. some more he asked in a very casual manner, so i was even more shocked. haha. i dont mind people being casual about asking questions, dont have to be so formal like "Excuse me, sir, sorry for bothering you on this fine afternoon, i just wanted to ask you if there are any tamans today at bedok jetty." but i was shocked by how a simple hobby such as fishing help two people to communicate easily and freely. i guess when there is an obvious common interest, it is easier to bridge the gap between 2 complete strangers.
after answering the man in the same casual manner,
"YAH! GOT A LOT!"
i continued on my way to the hawker centre opposite Temasek Junior College where i was going to have my lunch. and guess what?! i ran into my JC Physics teacher, Mr Chan Cheow Wee! haha. and we had the following conversation.
Bernanaman: Hey Mr. Chan!
Mr. Chan: Hey! blah-blah-blah...
Bernanaman: *moves closer to hear what he saying*
Mr. Chan: blah-blah-blah...
Bernanaman: *moves even closer to hear what he saying*
Mr. Chan: Hey where you going now?
Bernanaman: *finally hears what he was saying* Oh i going to have lunch!
Mr. Chan: Oic, so where are you studying now?
Bernanaman: NUS but i havent go in yet.
Mr. Chan: Oh good! What course are ya taking?
Bernanaman: Mechanical Engineering.
Mr. Chan: Haha good good. All the best!
Bernanaman: Haha thanks! Bye Mr. Chan!
Mr. Chan: Bye bye!
ok the funny part is the beginning of the conversation. haha for people who dont know Mr. Chan Cheow Wee, he is a notoriously fast talker (no offence Mr. Chan, if you are reading this. haha.) and the reason why at the start he is saying blah-blah-blah is cause i couldnt freaking make out what he was trying to say!!! haha. if you were to put bullets in his mouth, he would be a machine gun sia. and will never IA one. haha.
anyway it was really a surprise meeting him and it had been like 2 whole freaking years ever since i stepped anywhere close to my JC. damn i miss those days where you can crack lame and funny jokes with your classmates, eat fishball mee at the hawker centre with frens, drink my favourite longan drink at canteen and most imptly bio char bor in lecture hall. haha. oh yah on a side note, i saw Quan Yi Feng and Zhong Qing! lol.
i think today quite an eventful day sia, very fruitful also. anyway time to end this entry, so i shall leave yall here with a hokkien song recommended by caveboi. haha enjoy and Cheerios!
haha another hokkien video. trust me its damn funny! haha gotta watch it!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 5:01 PM [comment]
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008
racing in the heartlands
anyway yesterday i was "racing" along west coast highway and it seriously felt damn shiok. but the most shiok part was still when i went up to this extemely long viaduct. stretching from pasir panjang to keppel. and it was really like deserted sia. i saw this car on the viaduct which was quite a distance from me, so doing what every adrenaline-pumping, testosterone-filled, crazy driver would do, i tried to catch up with the other car. so i was basically like just flooring the accelerator like there is no tomorrow. then before i knew it, i was going at
120 km/h on a 70 km/h viaduct!
haha i know thats crazy, haha and i also know most of the time i am one crazy bastard so i just kept up with the 120 km/h speed. in the end i caught up with the car and started pulling away from it. haha at that time i really felt damn orgasmic sia. haha. cause first of all its damn scary to be speeding more than 50km/h over the speed limit cause i can get my license revoked. secondly, its still damn fun to be going so damn fast haha. the feeling is like you are in a cinema watching Ju-On while reading an issue of FHM TOP 100 Girls-Next-Door. haha.
anyway the Need For Speed soon subsided cause i was exiting out from the viaduct very soon after i overtook the car. then as i headed home, i was damn tempted to go for a spin on Mount Faber again so i gave in to the temptation and headed for Mount Faber. but on the way there, i almost had a heart attack cause i saw this traffic police vehicle parked by the side of the road. after doing something against the law, you can imagine how afraid i was. it is like successfully stealing from the cookie jar just before dinner and your mum suddenly walks into the kitchen. you will definitely chua tio. haha.
anyway i quickly got pass the traffic police and apparently there was a small accident so that explains why the traffic police was there. then off i went to
MOUNT AKINA!
lol pai say ah. typo typo, i meant to say Mount Faber. haha. oh yah if yall have the chance, wind down the window and drive, its a very different feeling but in a good way. haha i dont really know how to describe, you just gotta experience it. haha. anyway when i was travelling up Mount Faber, i noticed a few deserted carparks. haha. ok thats out of the point, haha, as i was saying, i was going up Mount Faber and i saw quite a lot of couples sia. there were all sort of couples, got skinny, plump, short, tall, young and old and most importantly got
HOT BABES AND CUTE MEI MEI!
ok ok i am not a voyeur k? haha. anyway half of the time i had the urge to like use my headlight's high beam to flash those people showing PDA (Public Displays of Affection). haha. but after a little contemplation, i decided not to haha cause next time when i have a gf, i hope others wont do that also. haha. but the weird thing is even when i did not use high beam, some couples also look damn shocked when i drove past, the expression on their faces look exactly like those lions on Animal Planet that are caught in the middle of their mating ritual sia. haha.
anyway after the "sightseeing" and "racing", i headed back home, but tonight i am gonna be driving again. haha. time to have some fun and time to end off this entry with another youtube video. enjoy and Cheerios!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 4:15 PM [comment]
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Sunday, December 30, 2007
medley
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
ARIES - TheDaredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendl y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
haha this is just a little something my fren sent to me in an email. hope yall like reading about your own horoscopes. haha. i know some people totally dont believe in horoscopes, but still its fun to read. haha i guess cause most of the times, horoscopes says good stuff about you.
haha funny pic yeah? it was sent by one of my frens also. haha.
this last picture was taken on friday when i took my dad's car out for a spin. i drove up mount faber and there was this fantastic view and i just had to take a picture of it. anyway it was taken at around 2 am and i saw a few couples taking a stroll. damn i miss the feeling of taking a slow walk with a char bor sia. haiz emo again. haha. anyway its time to stop slacking and look for a job. wish me luck! haha. oh yah last but not least i will end off a youtube video. if you guys like the movie 300 or Warlords, yall will love this video but there is twist to the video. haha check it out and Cheerios!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 2:28 PM [comment]
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Thursday, December 27, 2007
spoilt clock
MY STUPID CLOCK IS SO DAMN MESSED UP
and i cant bloody fix it!!! argh! ok if yall think i am crazy, i definitely wont blame you. haha cause i didnt make myself clear at all, when i say my stupid clock is damn messed up, i was referring to my biological clock. its been almost 2 months since i ORD-ed and ever since i started becoming a civilian, i have screwed up my biological clock. and when i mean screwed up, it really is very very very screwed up.
i will like go to sleep at around 2 or 3 am in the morning, sometimes even at 4 or 5 am in the morning and will wake up only at 11 am or 12 pm, sometimes i can even wake up at 2 or 3 pm. and its always this vicious cycle of waking up late, thus not being able to go to sleep early thus waking late again on the next day. then if i do manage to get up early, i would be able to set my biological clock right again. but after a few days, it would go haywire again.
and sometimes if i do manage to get up early, i would get shagged out by later afternoon and be tempted to take a cat nap but a cat nap usually turns out to be a 2 to 3 hour sleep and i would f up my clock again. sometimes i wonder how come when in army, i can wake up on time and sleep early but when i am at home, it is just totally different. i know a few of my frens suffer from this problem also. some can correct it easily (envy these bunch of people), some dont even suffer from this problem at all! (how i wish i could be like them sia.)
i know the main cause of my problem, i just love sleeping so much especially when the weather is cooling or its raining. sometimes i can be damn sure my actual parents are actually a koala bear and a sloth sia. haha. then i would be like some kinda mixed breed, lean mean sleeping machine. anyway its time to find a job soon and get some income and now that i got so accustomed to slacking, it would be damn hard to start my engine again sia. how i wish got some kinda "nitrous boost" or some shiet and by "nitrous boost", i mean a gf to motivate me. haiz. oh well thats a blog entry for another day! haha now i shall just leave yall with another youtube video! enjoy! Cheerios.
psssst....the main focus of this video is the cute mei mei, not Vic Zhou. haha.
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 5:24 PM [comment]
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Sunday, December 23, 2007
honky honky honk honk
there is the usual taxi uncle who is a very safe and courteous driver when his cab is not occupied but transforms into a clutch-kicking, jam-braking, fast gear-shifting speed demon when there is a passenger on board. then when you too slow or in his way, he will not think twice about honking you or giving you a flash of his state-of-the-art XENON HID HEADLAMP HIGH BEAM.
then there is the driver that thinks he is playing Need For Speed Pro Street on his XBox 360 cause he is "drafting" behind your car. and by "drafting", i mean tailgating. i mean he is so freaking close, when you look into your rear view mirror, you see nothing but that crazy bugger's face. its that damn close.
then of course, which expressway can be lacking of the driver who swerves in and out of the 3rd and 4th lane and overtaking cars like he is in a rush to send a pregnant woman to the hospital. if you give him a F1 car, i bet he will be faster than Michael Schumacher.
there will also be the i-wont-let-you-lane-change driver, these kind of drivers are the worst to deal with, cause you cant freaking honk at them cause they are behind or beside you and you cant just cut into his lane cause you might risk having him hit your rear bumper. and its especially frustrating when its the do-or-die kind of lane change ie if you dont lane change, you miss the turn and have to find a u-turn or alternate route. so its always best to know the route well and always plan ahead, i know the frustration cause sometimes i dont plan well also. haha.
then last but not least, its the indecisive driver, the one changes lane last minute, the one who doesnt know whether to go or not to go at the stop line, the one who cannot decide whether or not to pick up his handphone while driving, the one who cannot decide whether to read FHM or Maxim while driving etc etc etc.
anyway i am glad i havent honk anyone yet and i hope i wont have to honk anyone, cause honking usually means, someone pissed you off, you wanna piss someone off, theres a crazy pedestrian standing in the middle of the road, theres a dangerous situation or your hands are just itchy to press the horn. haha.
anyway safety is always of utmost importance and recently i heard that in Vietnam, the government set a rule for motorcyclists to wear helmets cause there are too many accidents involving motorcyclists and some of their deaths could have been prevented by wearing helmets. so whats the reason for Vietnamnese not taking care of their precious heads before the implementation of this rule? one of their reasons is that the helmets look like rice cookers. haha and immediately i had this mental image.
haha sometimes i just think of crazy things. haha. anyway safety should always be the chief concern. so i am gonna show yall this video that is really frightening to watch and hope it brings across the message that we should always be good pedestrians, drivers and motorcyclists. Cheerios!BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 8:56 PM [comment]
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