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Sunday, September 30, 2007



got car, got chicks

Holy shit, my driving instructor told me quite a while back that after i get my license and buy a car, the chicks will automatically start coming in, i was like totally happy sia cause i myself had that idea too. but damn i was totally wrong, not because i have bought a car and still no chicks but because i saw this car that totally wouldnt get you the chicks. and it is none other than

CHERY QQ



omg this car is the disgrace of all cars, its the epitome of bad design, slipshod bodywork and freaking bad quality, like one website said, "YOU NEED BALLS TO PICK THIS CHERY." cause the manufacturers did a very bad job on the bodywork, there are inconsistent panel gaps and exposed rusty edges. then the interior has bad ergonomics and the suspension totally sux, under the bonnet there is a massive front strut tower brace and anti-roll bar, both to compensate for a wobbly chassis. so with all these flaws, it just shows their heck-care attitude like that what about their engine and the car safety? i totally cant imagine sia.

this car is definitely not a car that you wanna use to attract chicks, maybe can attract people who wanna bash you up for driving a fugly car, but definitely not chicks. you wanna attract chicks, maybe you can try this, the new Misubishi Lancer EX.


haha now that is one sweet ride! not only can attract chicks, can attract guys also....ok now that sounds brokeback. haha. anyway the bottomline is, DONT BUY CHERY QQ!!! haha no lah kidding. the bottomline is if you gotta do something, do it rite, dont do halfway, like not here not there, wah lao like that how people trust you with work rite? and more imptly how your frens gonna trust you, how your gf gonna trust you, cause if you do stuff like that, what if you also treat people around you like that also. makes sense rite? haha.

anyway its time again to end an entry and time for another youtube video!!! haha. enjoy and Cheerios!




BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 2:09 PM [comment]

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Saturday, September 29, 2007



kai bu liao kou


Wah lao eh, this video make me damn emo sia. cause i could really relate to it, so now i am back to being emo bernana again. haha i wonder if anyone has the same feelings that i do, cause sometimes you really like someone but just because you never make your feelings known then in the end you didnt end up with that person. doesnt it just makes you feel damn regretful? you might have had a chance if you had told her that you liked her but now she is with someone else.

then after that you start feeling like crap cause you have no idea whether to wait for her or to actually give up totally and wait for a better girl. if you decide to wait for her, then you start thinking what if the guy she is with is the one she is gonna marry, then you start thinking if you give up totally, will you be like subconsciously just looking for a substitute? which would be very unfair to the other girl.

then lets say the girl does breakup, then you dont know when to actually tell her your feelings cause you are worried that it might be too early and she might just wanna have someone to rely on until she recovers, in which case, you will become the substitute and become hurt at the end. then you think what if you wait too long and she gets attached with someone else. so in the end, you might end up waiting and waiting for that girl you are so in love with just because you are too afraid to take the first step.

so what i am trying to say is, it might be too hard and too scary to take the first step in expressing your feelings to someone but if you dont do it, you might live with the regret forever, but then again i think if the girl is a very good fren and the chances are damn slim, it is better not to jeopardise such a beautiful friendship. haha so i guess in the end i still havent figure out when and how to tell a girl that you like her and i am still damn regretful.

haha oh well thats the live of an emo bernana. but oh well must think positive, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade with it yah? haha. anyway just wanna end off this emo post with something on the lighter side, its a very popular episode of the mrbrownshow about the DAVE TEO incident. haha Cheerios! :)



BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 2:11 PM [comment]

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Saturday, September 22, 2007



bernanaman = bernard beng

KNN!!! wah lao eh why my name always got funny thing happen one. haha. the ICCT instructor was putting us into details then when he was reading out the names, he said

"BERNARD BENG!"

*silence*

"BERNARD BENG!!!"

my new bird tap me and say "bernard i think its you." haha. so i look at the instructor and said

"BERNARD YEO BENG KOON?"

then he look at his detail sheet then said

"OOOOOHHHHH YAH"

then in my head i was going like wtf?!?!?!?!? haha. cause seriously ah my name people sometimes got people write wrongly, pronounce wrongly, but wah kao first time i hear people call me bernard beng sia. haha. when he call me i also stun sia, like who the hell is bernard beng? haha. anyway my name mostly people write wrongly, especially the last word, like YEO BENG KUN, YEO BENG KHOON. pronunciation ok lah, i not very particular and can use my christian name for easier pronunciation also. my initials also very funny B. K. YEO, once and for all, i have nothing related to burger king or yeo hup seng ok? haha. then my name beng koon, if switch the eng and oon then become boon keng. so my name is like fast food, drinks and MRT all rolled into one sia. LOL!

haha anyways funny names aside, i was thinking like since i have so much trouble with my name, when i have a child i am going to spare him the misery. i am gonna name him or her

YEO WHAZZUP

good name rite? haha, its unisex, its easily to pronounce, its short, good conversation starter but may have some trouble with the chinese name though haha. then maybe the christian name is HELLO so the full name is HELLO YEO WHAZZUP. wah i think my child is gonna have a troubled childhood haha.

so since i was thinking of names, i thought of some names for other people also! haha check it out.

HSIAO DING DONG
totally self-explanatory name.

LIM KOH PEE
loves caffeine.

TAN GU GU
english name is wait long long.

LEOW XI GAN
loves wasting time. good buddies with TAN GU GU.

PANDAN KEK
got a brother called CHOCOLATE and a sister called STRAWBERRY.

TEO BAE PIO
TOTO and 4D never fails him.

CHUA TIO
easily shocked.

CHEW YING GAM
trafficks chewing gum.

CAI TAU KWAY
eats carrot cake for every meal.

YEO WHAZZUP
troubled child of bernanaman.

haha now i just hope no one some kills me for ruining their surnames. anyway ICCT is finally over and sparring is very shagged but fun and seriously ICCT very hard to fail, most impt of all they wanna see aggression and i think if every soldier is like the kid in the video i am gonna show you, singapore confirm can win any war haha. so sit back and enjoy the show!



fierce bastard rite? haha. ok hope yall enjoy this entry and like usual i am gonna end this entry with another funny video so enjoy watching, have a wonderful weekend and Cheerios! haha.






BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 11:07 AM [comment]

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007



diarrhoea fever vomitting

Wah kao sibei sian, why do such suay things always befall on me. FOOD POISONING?!?!?! omg why sia. i know i am the most greedy keng1 jio1 (bernana) on earth but why punish me in such an ironic way sia. i love food so much yet food made me get so sick. its like sex, you love sex so much but casual sex made you get HIV. ok nvm that sounds like a wrong analogy. ok so i might have been abit casual about my eating habits but seriously the punishment that my mind, my body and literally my soul had to take over the past few days in conquering this virus was totally immeasurable.

waking up to a hearty breakfast today bought by papa bernana i was damn glad that i could finish up the whole meal cause i could not finish a full meal at all since saturday when my ordeal began. so here i am, back to being the bernana i used to be. anyway when i was at A&E at SGH on saturday, i was squealing and bending over like a girl with menstrual cramps. i was totally and seriously in pain, then doctor saw me after 2 hours, then suddenly no more pain in stomach. cause KNN she poked my arse, then FREAKING put some needle in my hand and HAPPILY injected like 3 medicine into me so now my stomach pain transfer all over my body liao. but i was happy lahz cause it made me feel more comfortable. the pain was much more bearable after that.

anyway in between more puking, diarrhoea, rehydrating myself, sleeping, constant observation of my vital signs by docs and nurses, urine tests and blood withdrawals, there is an occasional perk of seeing a cute doc or cute nurse who is damn gentle and kind and patient. no wonder singapore's healthcare is excellent. anyway sidetracking abit ah, i realised that to effectively help someone who is in very bad pain, for example your gf's having menstrual cramps, it is best not to use an army approach.

lets say your gf is having menstrual cramps, you thought as her bf you should like console her, give her some encouragement or something, but please dont do and say stupid stuff like,

"COME ON COME ON YOU CAN DO IT!!! MIND

OVER BODY MIND OVER BODY!!!" *SINGS PURPLE

LIGHT*

can imagine her constipated face after you say that? haha. KNN trust me, your gf will seriously whack you upside down inside out, then hang your F**KING BALLS. so P-L-E-A-S-E dont do anything stupid unless you seriously dont cherish your balls or your gf.

anyway i just finished taking out the stitches for my wisdom tooth and on my way back home, as i entered the lift, i immediately got a whiff of the strong and familiar smell of DETTOL, so i thought the cleaners must have just came. however, it was this lady whose dog had urinated in the lift who did the cleaning. it might not seem like a big deal, but imagine the civic mindedness of this nice lady, she could have cared less, left the dog pee there, blame it on someone else, wait for tmr's routine cleaning, or even asked the dog to poop there since its already dirty. we could all use abit of civic mindedness in today's society of the harsh, the fast and the dirty. so sometimes lets take a little moment to just do a little something for the community.

anyways ending this entry with a nice video of an amazing save by a goalkeeper. sorry to bother yall with the gross details of my ordeal. haha. anyway Cheerios! :)




BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 12:35 PM [comment]

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007



wisdom tooth part II

So, here it is once again, another wisdom tooth operation and another 5 days of att c!!! woohoo!!! haha. ok but once again i have to put up with the pain and boredom and the inability to eat some of my favourite food again. but its all good cause i dont think wisdom teeth will respawn so this is the end of my journey for my wisdom tooth surgeries. haha.

oh yah something rather funny happened as the dentist was operating on my wisdom teeth. his stomach rumbled, and it was a pretty loud rumbling that even i and the nurse heard. so there was sort of a dialogue between the nurse and the dentist.

* rumbling of stomach *

* louder rumbling of stomach *

* louder and longer rumbling of stomach *

Nurse: *giggled* you havent had your breakfast?

Dentist: haha not you rumbling ah?

Nurse: its coming from you haha.

Dentist: lol i thought is you.

Bernanaman: *giggled* (dentist scolds me for laughing at him)

haha no lah the doctor didnt scold me for laughing at him lahz. the people at NDC are really super nice. their service is excellent but dont go there and ji siao siao lahz, they wont hesitate to pluck all your teeth out, seriously.

anyway i guess the doctor must have worked until he forgot about his breakfast or brunch. haha. we all gotta take care of ourselves yah? dont ever forgot about your precious stomach, or it will give you awkward and funny moments like this, haha, imagine you kissing with your gf or bf halfway then suddenly you stomach growls like a dog or something. maybe you might find it kinky, but personally it spoils the mood for me. haha.

although this was the second wisdom tooth surgery, i was still abit nervous, although i knew what to expect and the process of the surgery, i still had butterflies in my stomach albeit the feeling was milder than the first time when i was still a newbie. haha. you know somethings will still make you nervous no matter how many times you done it, like exams, like a job interview, an oral presentation of your project, a first date with the girl you have been secretly in love with for damn long, getting married, getting divorced haha. but of course it doesnt apply to daily stuff like going to toilet to do your business, or like watching some explicit videos on your com, or eating food. dont tell me you hyperventilate everytime you go pass motion or pee k? cause i will freaking take my freaking hand and freaking slap your freaking face, you understand me, you shit-a-holic. haha.

anyway my PC was kinda suay cause he had to wait damn long for his surgery, his appointment was earlier than mine but when i finished my surgery, he was still waiting. haha. anyway i love to listen to music to match my mood so since i am very happy now, i am gonna share a youtube video of rainie yang's new song from her new album entitled "ren yi men". enjoy and Cheerios!



BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 11:07 AM [comment]

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007



hokkien version of hairspray

"HOKKIEN VERSION OF HAIRSPRAY"

That was exactly what CHAI LAI said after watching 881. haha finally went to watch 881, it was seriously an emotional rollercoaster ride. then in between the ups and downs, there were spurts of hokkien, teochew, ang moh and chinese, like a rojak of languages and with laughter and hokkien songs to spice things up abit, all i gotta say is well done royston, simply well done. in a nutshell, this movie that has topped the singpore box office for the past few weeks, is definitely not a letdown and is a must watch, full of singapore flavour and is a masterpiece set to take the world by storm, showcasing singapore's unique culture and warm and strong relationships dwelling in the heartlands and in the hearts of every singaporean.


anyway with regards to my previous posts about weird questions, today somebody made a very weird exclamation. i am not going to say who the person is so as to protect his privacy (hey..his name is SHAWN LEE WEI CHONG) so even if you like beat me up, put a monkey ramp up my ass and then explode it with plastic explosives, i still wont tell you. anyway we were walking in DAISO in plaza singapura then we walk to this part which had some interesting cigarette stuff like filters and portable ashtrays and we were all bombarding LYS (who knows a lot of jap stuff) with lots of questions on what this and that is for, cause the rest of us couldnt read jap for nuts.

then as we were walking around and constantly Woo-ing and Wow-ing at lots of interesting stuff, The One Whom I Shall Not Name, just suddenly took up a packet of tea leaves and exclaimed,


"WAH!!! YOU PUT THIS IN WATER AND IT

BECOMES TEA!"


so i was like,

"OMG THIS IS THE BEST INVENTION OF THE 21ST

CENTURY!"


cause usually when i make tea, i must like put my Lipton teabag inside the microwave, send it to outer space, where an alien would zap it into a meteor that comes speeding down to my house and then crashes into my kitchen and cracks open to reveal a cup of tea which harry potter must cast a spell on, which POOFS into some purple smoke, then it is safe for drinking. this packet of tea leaves will definitely save me some trouble hor? haha ok lahz shall not make fun of my PC anymore.

tmr is my WISDOM TOOTH SURGERY!!! haha. damn happy cause got att c after that but also damn scared cause the feeling of going in for surgery is still abit intimidating. anyways going to sleep now so going to end off with a youtube video of this guy called kevjumba and his video entitled "stupid questions". kevjumba is very popular on youtube so his video would definitely not disappoint but dont just look at his videos and dont read my blog k?! haha or i will
beat you up, put a monkey ramp up your ass and then explode it with plastic explosives. ^_^ haha Cheerios!






BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 11:29 PM [comment]

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Sunday, September 9, 2007



weird questions

Hey dudes and dudettes! isn't today a bright and sunny day? ahhh damn it i hate the hot weather, how i wish it was as cooling as the previous few days when the sky was damn cloudy. anyway enough yak-katty-yak about the weather, lets cut to the chase. do yall sometimes experience some weird questions coming from your parents or relatives or frens? my fren DD had a totally out of this world experience when MH called him early in the morning. it was raining and DD just woke up and the first thing MH said on the phone was,

"HEY DD WHY ISIT RAINING AH?"

then DD became a bit du lan cause early in the morning, he just woke up and he gets such a FREAKING, STUPIDLY STUPID QUESTION!!! haha. i mean like if MH asks "hey DD your side raining?" or "hey DD rain very big hor?" like that still ok lahz but he asks,

"HEY DD WHY ISIT RAINING AH?"


poor DD didnt know whether to laugh or to cry or to just F**K MH upside down inside out. haha. anyway my mum sometimes ask me weird questions also. for example when i come back home and the first thing she asks when i step into the door is, "hey ah boy you come back liao ah." then in the back of my mind i am thinking "no no i just going out, OF COURSE I AM BACK LAH!" haha. then sometimes when i eating, my mum will come ask me, "hey ah boy eating lunch ah?" then i thinking "omg what does it look like i am doing, praying to the noodles ah?" lol. but of course all i think only lahz, never say out, after all she is mama bernana.

anyway my fren PJ sent an email to me and i can very much relate to its contents so i thot i'd let you guys check it out too. haha.


THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION :
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING :
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE :

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC :
"Because I said so, that's why." & "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE :
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD :
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP :
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" (maybe you can help answer MH's question about "why isit raining?" haha.)

My Mother taught me HUMOR :
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS :
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS :
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE :
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about RETRIBUTION:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."

My mother taught me RELIGION :
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL :
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me FORESIGHT :
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY :
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS :
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM :
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA :
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER :
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY :
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE :
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY :
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

lol. hope yall had fun reading that. anyways ending my post with another youtube video. Enjoy! Cheerios!



haha moral of the story? work for FEDEX instead.


BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 2:00 PM [comment]

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Saturday, September 8, 2007



girl at the arcade

Hey!!! you know sometimes when you go out to town or wherever then once in a while you see this girl or guy that looks like the type that you like? but not many people will have the chance or guts to actually get to know this girl or guy just by going up to them on the streets and saying "hi". but holy shit i am one damn lucky guy. haha. because on thursday our company was having company off, so i went out with my pc, mr potato, and mosey to plaza singapura to watch RATATOUILLE (RAT-A-TOO-EE). so while waiting for our movie to start, we wandered off to the arcade to kill time.

so we were like walking walking and walking then suddenly this person bumped into me, my first reaction was,

"KNN NB WTF?!?!?! ARE YOU BLIND OR NOT?!?!?"

of course i didnt say that lah, and thank god that i didnt cause the person who bumped me was a girl and a very cute one also. after she bumped into me then she turned around and said sorry in a very sweet voice. then i was like,


"KNN NB WTF?!?!?! CAN GIVE ME UR NUMBER?!?!?!"

haha but of course i didnt say that lahz, i just said sorry in return. wah but the feeling hor is damn shiok. haha. i know yall sure say i damn buaya, aiyo but once in a while let me shiok can or not, lol not everyday got some cute girl bump into me, you know? some people damn shuai so no lack of girls liking them but i no looks mahz haha so once in a while got cheap thrill also good lahz. haha. anyway i was thinking of those guys who go clubs and dont really dare to go up to girls to get to know them and i wanted to help them so i thot of this pick up line. sure can get girl one. you go up to the girl and you tell her your name

Bernanaman: "hey sexy, my name is bernanaman, remember it well, you know why?"

Sexy: "why??"

Bernanaman: "cause you will be screaming it later. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

hmmm, on second thot, pls dont use my suggestion. haha. anyway its time for more darth vader stuff, for soundaholics out there, yall will enjoy this! Cheerios!








BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 5:14 PM [comment]

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Wednesday, September 5, 2007



wah icct!

Wah seh! this week is icct week sia. i bet all army guys will know what icct means. it means more tekan tekan and some more tekan! haha but no lahz in unit already, so not much tekan one. anyway icct was quite ok, in fact it was quite fun although i already learned most of the things in SISPEC. wah but my sparring fren is damn fierce sia! KNN! he tore my pants until got one lobang! wtf!? haha but i also like twist his arms and wrist until he like some contortionist like that so i guess we are even. lol!

anyway i bet singapore has been shocked by the damn stupid and super rash nsf that brought a SAR 21 rifle out of camp with some live ammo. wah lao he damn fierce sia, since he already brought out the rifle and live ammo, might as well da bao a few grenades go home also. i mean like wtf sia?! one more month to ord and he does this stupid stunt. the first day when the news came out i was like knn nb what can force a nsf to forgo his ord like that sia. then finally the truth was revealed today in the newspaper. it was because of a girl or more specifically his ex-girlfren.

after i read that its about his gf then i thought wah lao eh dont sad lahz, i mean no need so depress until need to do such things mah. maybe can go club then find some other char bor also shiok what. lol. what i mean is dont do until so drastic lahz if not meant to be then like that lor. depress come read my blog lah! sure wont depress one. haha. or just leave a tag on my tag board, i recommend some pretty girls for you lah! i got a lot of lobang one ok?



see? my lobang good rite? hahah kidding lahz. anyway i havent been in his position before so i shouldnt be saying things like he is stupid or crazy or whatever. cause considering his relationship has been going on for 3 years and his gf was the one who dumped him, i can imagine the pain but what i am trying to put across is maybe he should have looked on the bright side cause HE LOST SOMEONE WHO DIDNT KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE HIM and HIS GF LOST SOMEONE WHO LOVED HER DEARLY. anyway the girl was saying he was very possessive that kinda thing so oh well guys and girls who are being too possessive should try to tone down. oh well like they always say, in a relationship, COMMUNICATION is most important and that is very very true. So, as always to end my posts on the lighter side, i have posted a funny video from youtube. haha enjoy and Cheerios!



BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 8:58 PM [comment]

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Saturday, September 1, 2007



The Un-Famous Anus Show!

Welcome guys and gals to the very long awaited premier of The Un-Famous Anus Show! Haha lets cut to the chase and carry on the show!

*Mr Anus walks into the interview room*

Bernanaman: Hey, welcome to the interview Mr. Anus! I heard that you are a very good businessman so we decided to give you this interview to give our local youngsters some good ideas on how to become successful entrepreneurs. Firstly, i heard you are related to the very well known cookie shop!

Mr. Anus: Yes, that one is my younger brudder, he sell cookie until very famous but i also got my own way of doing business but you know sometimes must take some idea from here and there then can start business so i took some ideas from my brudder's shop lor.

Bernanaman: Oh that's very true, so what kind of business did you start?

Mr. Anus: First hor, i look at my brudder's shop then i see he sell cookie but his cookie different wor, got nuts one, got chocolate chip one, got brown one got black one so i decided to sell Ramly Burger.

Bernanaman: Huh?! (Wtf?!) Eh ok i don't really see the link so would you kindly elaborate?

Mr. Anus: Eh your ang mor very cheeeem lei, what is EEE-LAH-BOO-RRAPPE?

Bernanaman: Eh means can explain some more? Haha. (wah elaborate become elaborape. knn.)

Mr. Anus: ORH!!! Never say properly. Youngsters nowadays, haiz! I set up Ramly Burger shop but my Ramly Burger although looks the same on the outside as other people one but my one different on the inside, just like my brudder's cookies.

Bernanaman: Oh i see! So whats different about your Ramly Burgers?

Mr. Anus: First of all, my burgers got fruits inside the meat patty, got strawberry, got banana, got papaya, got watermelon, got honeydew, got durian, got jackfruit etc. Then, people use egg to cover the patty, i use Oreo cookies, like that then got added crunchy texture mahz.

Bernanaman: Are there really customers at your shop?

Mr. Anus: KNN OF COURSE LAHZ!

Bernanaman: Wah ok ok. Relax Mr Anus, i was just asking a casual question. (Oh man he looked like he was really gonna slaughter me...phew). So besides the patty and egg, what else is different?

Mr. Anus: My sauce also different! My sauce is secret recipe one, normally i don't tell people but neber mind, you look like nice guy so i tell you, its actually just mayonnaise plus MY SALIVA. Then i even give my customer choice to add phlegm or don't add phlegm, add phlegm another 50 cents. But not always i got phlegm one mahz so that one must special order.

Bernanaman: (Wah kaoz!? Confirm this guy psycho or not?!?!?! KNN siao one sia!) Wah! You are very creative! What do customers say after eating your burgers?

Mr. Anus: Haha. Creative right? No wonder my fwens say i am a Damn Uber Magnificent Businessman And Superb Salesman (D.U.M.B.A.S.S.). Muahahahaha! Oh my customers say my burger too sweet cause too many fruits and because of the Oreos so i made a special version one, i dip the whole sesame seed bun in sea water from the Dead Sea. Exotic rite? Just listening to it makes your mouth water hor?

Bernanaman: Woah you got really nice friends hor? Haha. (omg, hes a stupid asshole) Wah it really does sound damn delicious (as delicious as garbage. haha.).

Mr. Anus: Oi, why you laughing to yourself? You abit weirdo, must go checkup. Of course i got nice fwens lahz! i also got a very nice certificate saying i very CLEVER one. Its a certificate from Singapore's Tremendously Overly Over-Performing Individuals Department (S.T.O.O.P.I.D.)

Bernanaman: Haha. So how much does your burger cost?

Mr. Anus: It sells for three-fifty.

Bernanaman: Oh $3.50 is quite pricey for just a burger but for all the "creativity" i guess it might be worth it.

Mr. Anus: What?! $3.50? My burger is $350!!! And where got expensive!? KNN got my special secret recipe sauce lei! Where else have?! Some more you say might be worth it!? ITS FUCKING WORTH IT OK?! YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!

Bernanaman: Ok ok sorry sorry! Don't be angry Mr. Anus. I am really very very sorry. I heard you eat your own burgers everyday also cause its very nutritious.

Mr. Anus: Of course! Come i eat for you to see.

*Munches*

*Munches some more*

*Continues munching*

*Sucks in air*

*Spits the freaking burger out*

Bernanaman: Wah wtf!? Why you spit it out!?

Mr. Anus: Thats another design of my burger lah! You chew then absorb the nutrients then spit it out, cause got one time i eat down, i cannot pang sai for one whole week, the burger like a stopper like that stuck at my anus there. but after one week of sai, then wah the pressure too big. The stopper just shoot out like a rocket ah! Then my shit like Niagra Falls come out. Damn shiok ah! I brought another burger for you also. Special edition one, got 2 times the sauce and 2 times the patty.

Bernanaman: Eh i just plucked my wisdom tooth, i think i shall just thank you for the treat.

Mr. Anus: No no, must eat one. Please, it is a token of my appreciation for interviewing me.

Bernanaman: Eh really no need lah.

Mr. Anus: Wah knn you si2 gin2 na4! Don't give Lim Peh face right!? *forces burger down my throat*

Bernanaman: *Gasps* Nooooo! Please noooooooooo! My wisdom tooth ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Haha, hope yall enjoyed the show! Please give me your valuable feedback! haha

- THAT'S ALL PUNKS -


BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 9:03 PM [comment]

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