BernanaRama
Sunday, December 30, 2007
medley
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
ARIES - TheDaredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendl y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
haha this is just a little something my fren sent to me in an email. hope yall like reading about your own horoscopes. haha. i know some people totally dont believe in horoscopes, but still its fun to read. haha i guess cause most of the times, horoscopes says good stuff about you.
haha funny pic yeah? it was sent by one of my frens also. haha.
this last picture was taken on friday when i took my dad's car out for a spin. i drove up mount faber and there was this fantastic view and i just had to take a picture of it. anyway it was taken at around 2 am and i saw a few couples taking a stroll. damn i miss the feeling of taking a slow walk with a char bor sia. haiz emo again. haha. anyway its time to stop slacking and look for a job. wish me luck! haha. oh yah last but not least i will end off a youtube video. if you guys like the movie 300 or Warlords, yall will love this video but there is twist to the video. haha check it out and Cheerios!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 2:28 PM [comment]
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Thursday, December 27, 2007
spoilt clock
MY STUPID CLOCK IS SO DAMN MESSED UP
and i cant bloody fix it!!! argh! ok if yall think i am crazy, i definitely wont blame you. haha cause i didnt make myself clear at all, when i say my stupid clock is damn messed up, i was referring to my biological clock. its been almost 2 months since i ORD-ed and ever since i started becoming a civilian, i have screwed up my biological clock. and when i mean screwed up, it really is very very very screwed up.
i will like go to sleep at around 2 or 3 am in the morning, sometimes even at 4 or 5 am in the morning and will wake up only at 11 am or 12 pm, sometimes i can even wake up at 2 or 3 pm. and its always this vicious cycle of waking up late, thus not being able to go to sleep early thus waking late again on the next day. then if i do manage to get up early, i would be able to set my biological clock right again. but after a few days, it would go haywire again.
and sometimes if i do manage to get up early, i would get shagged out by later afternoon and be tempted to take a cat nap but a cat nap usually turns out to be a 2 to 3 hour sleep and i would f up my clock again. sometimes i wonder how come when in army, i can wake up on time and sleep early but when i am at home, it is just totally different. i know a few of my frens suffer from this problem also. some can correct it easily (envy these bunch of people), some dont even suffer from this problem at all! (how i wish i could be like them sia.)
i know the main cause of my problem, i just love sleeping so much especially when the weather is cooling or its raining. sometimes i can be damn sure my actual parents are actually a koala bear and a sloth sia. haha. then i would be like some kinda mixed breed, lean mean sleeping machine. anyway its time to find a job soon and get some income and now that i got so accustomed to slacking, it would be damn hard to start my engine again sia. how i wish got some kinda "nitrous boost" or some shiet and by "nitrous boost", i mean a gf to motivate me. haiz. oh well thats a blog entry for another day! haha now i shall just leave yall with another youtube video! enjoy! Cheerios.
psssst....the main focus of this video is the cute mei mei, not Vic Zhou. haha.
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 5:24 PM [comment]
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Sunday, December 23, 2007
honky honky honk honk
there is the usual taxi uncle who is a very safe and courteous driver when his cab is not occupied but transforms into a clutch-kicking, jam-braking, fast gear-shifting speed demon when there is a passenger on board. then when you too slow or in his way, he will not think twice about honking you or giving you a flash of his state-of-the-art XENON HID HEADLAMP HIGH BEAM.
then there is the driver that thinks he is playing Need For Speed Pro Street on his XBox 360 cause he is "drafting" behind your car. and by "drafting", i mean tailgating. i mean he is so freaking close, when you look into your rear view mirror, you see nothing but that crazy bugger's face. its that damn close.
then of course, which expressway can be lacking of the driver who swerves in and out of the 3rd and 4th lane and overtaking cars like he is in a rush to send a pregnant woman to the hospital. if you give him a F1 car, i bet he will be faster than Michael Schumacher.
there will also be the i-wont-let-you-lane-change driver, these kind of drivers are the worst to deal with, cause you cant freaking honk at them cause they are behind or beside you and you cant just cut into his lane cause you might risk having him hit your rear bumper. and its especially frustrating when its the do-or-die kind of lane change ie if you dont lane change, you miss the turn and have to find a u-turn or alternate route. so its always best to know the route well and always plan ahead, i know the frustration cause sometimes i dont plan well also. haha.
then last but not least, its the indecisive driver, the one changes lane last minute, the one who doesnt know whether to go or not to go at the stop line, the one who cannot decide whether or not to pick up his handphone while driving, the one who cannot decide whether to read FHM or Maxim while driving etc etc etc.
anyway i am glad i havent honk anyone yet and i hope i wont have to honk anyone, cause honking usually means, someone pissed you off, you wanna piss someone off, theres a crazy pedestrian standing in the middle of the road, theres a dangerous situation or your hands are just itchy to press the horn. haha.
anyway safety is always of utmost importance and recently i heard that in Vietnam, the government set a rule for motorcyclists to wear helmets cause there are too many accidents involving motorcyclists and some of their deaths could have been prevented by wearing helmets. so whats the reason for Vietnamnese not taking care of their precious heads before the implementation of this rule? one of their reasons is that the helmets look like rice cookers. haha and immediately i had this mental image.
haha sometimes i just think of crazy things. haha. anyway safety should always be the chief concern. so i am gonna show yall this video that is really frightening to watch and hope it brings across the message that we should always be good pedestrians, drivers and motorcyclists. Cheerios!BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 8:56 PM [comment]
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007
dildo-like christmas tree
Wah seh! Yup man dont worry, you are not cock-eye, you are not at the wrong blog, you are not at some freaking online sex shop, you did see the word "DILDO" but trust me this entry is rated PG. haha. my friend DD made the above comment and it was because i sent him this picture.
FREAKING-LONG-GIGANTIC-BLUE DILDO!
haha no lah just pulling your leg, it is actually one of those huge transmission towers on Mount Faber and i guess people who came up with the idea must have been thinking, "hey why dont we do something different from those stupid people at orchard road who spend tons of money on decorations. lets just buy some cheap lights and combine it with the transmission tower to make a gigantic christmas tree." i think its a great idea sia and this isnt the first time they decorated the transmission tower for those who have seen it in previous years.
anyway its a good spot to bring your girlfriend or potential girlfriend or wife to take a look at something different from the usual (ie old-school) orchard road christmas decorations. i will try to get photos of the dildo.... i mean christmas tree up close by driving up Mount Faber then drifting down Mount Faber afterwards like Takumi in his AE86. lol kidding lah, i know i dont have the looks and skills to be like Takumi k? haha.
btw talking about drifting, i immediately think about zhng-ing cars, which reminds me about the huge exhaust of those ah-beng cars that sound like they are dragging a freaking jet fighter behind their cars sia. it sounds kinda cool but sometimes its just too freaking loud, i bet most people will know where to get one of these pimped out exhausts, but bet yall dont know who started this trend rite? haha the pioneer is none other than
MY LAO PEH
haha. yall must be wondering, bernanaman has lost it, he has finally lost it, he is a nutcase. but hear me out, haha, my dad used to drive a Daihatsu Charade
and it had freaking lots of problems, sometimes it had to be pushed to be started, sometimes it couldnt even start at all, sometimes the engine overheats plus lots of other problems. if it was alive now, i would compare it to a 40 year old man, with clogged arteries, arthritis, stroke, Parkinson and incontinence. it is that jia lat but the main point is, the exhaust spoils too! thats when my father's car sounds like those ah-beng cars. considering he did this like 15 years ago, he could very well be the pioneer of loud exhausts! haha.
haha in case you are wondering, his car sounds like that cause there were freaking holes in the muffler!!! haha but pls dont go start poking your father's precious Lexus or Jaguar's muffler k?
anyway time for me to go lie on my cozy bed, haha. Enjoy the youtube video! Cheerios!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 2:59 PM [comment]
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Monday, December 17, 2007
Initial B
Initial B
haha yall must be damn curious about this thing called Initial B rite? haha. in Initial D, D stands for drift but knn for Initial B, B stands for BUS, yes thats rite, you didnt read wrongly, it stands for B-U-S. the bus that i was sitting in was seriously driving like he was playing Crazy Taxi in the arcade sia. if there were was no traffic, i was pretty damn sure he was gonna drift the bus. and the bus driver obviously couldnt judge distance very well cause he kept stopping just mere inches away from the vehicle in front of him. and a few times i was so fucking scared that he was gonna buang cause if he did, i would fly straight out the front window of the second deck.
and one other crazy thing that he did that i have never ever seen another bus driver doing is that he overtook another bus! i mean that might sound like nothing serious, but what actually happened was really crazy. he was following behind this bus and i guess he thought it was too darn slow for his Formula 1 racing skills, so he change lane to the right, then accelerate like crazy, then swerve back to the left (which is the bus lane), then he overshot the freaking bus stop sia. knn crazy bastard.
anyway i took a picture of this advertisement that caught my attention and coincidentally, this is also the bus that the crazy bus driver overtook.
sia lah its been raining for like almost everyday for the past 2 weeks sia. i am not complaining but sia lah sometimes sunny also good lah, then can go out and play. but rain also good, haha very good weather for sleeping and relaxing one corner at home. best weather is those kind cloudy, cooling but no rain one. haha rain then very inconvenient to go outdoors cause must carry umbrella. haha but for someone i know, i shall call him MKK, he freaking happy when it rained while he was outdoors cause he can walk in the rain with the char bor he like. haha. sia lah how i wish i also can walk in rain with char bor.
ok enough dreaming bernanaman haha, anyway its time to end off this entry with another youtube video!!! haha. Cheerios!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 5:48 PM [comment]
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Thursday, December 13, 2007
blood donation
haha then being the curious and mischievous and naughty and reckless person i am, i didnt bother about the instructions before turning the knob and before i know it, i felt this jet of water spray onto my arm. then i got this sudden realisation that it is actually for washing my BIG FAT ASS!!! haha. so i decided to try this little gadget and i gotta say, its the best darn thing i ever felt sia. haha. you can even adjust how hard you want the jet to be sia. its freaking cool! haha. and if you ask me about the experience, i can only say it was
ASS-CITING
haha anyway let me show yall a little parody of this toilet poster, not very genuine looking but still its the best i could do with paint. haha.
anyway i heard of this ass washing gadget before, but i thought only girls had it in their toilet sia, now guys toilet have also! haha. its gotta the be the best thing that ever happened for guys ever since the equality of the sexes thing started. haha. anyway after the enjoyable wash down of my bon-bons. i went for blood donation. of course before that must fill up some forms, do a check up then finally the blood donation.
i have done blood donations more than once and it never ceases to please me how polite and gentle the auntie nurses are, whether you are first time blood donor, regular blood donor, girl or guy, easy to find vein, difficult to find vein, fat, thin, tall, short, young or old, they will always be able to like ease your uneasiness and let the blood donation go as smoothly as it possibly can. haha.
by the way i received this little pamphlet and its says that we need more regular blood donors, cause only 2.5% of the eligible population is donating blood and we need a pool of regular donors of at least 4% to meet the demands of blood transfusion in Singapore and the good thing about being a regular blood donor is that in times of blood shortages, regular blood donors are given priority for non-emergency requirement for blood.
anyway i have no idea what they mean by regular blood donor, haha i mean how regular is regular sia, every week one blood donation? (no lah i am kidding, every 3 months then can donate once). haha. but anyway its always a good thing to donate blood if you can,
GIVE BLOOD, GIVE LIFE
and you know now is the season of giving so what could be a better time to donate some of your precious blood rite? haha. do some good deeds then maybe Santa Claus will give you the iPhone or Mazda RX8 or Playstation 3 or the limited edition she-male Barbie doll you have been wishing for the whole year instead of some serious ass whooping for being a naughty boy or girl. haha. moreover its a good chance to show your garang-ness to the girl you are jio-ing. then you can maybe like grab the chance and hold her hand to give her some emotional support. haha.
anyway thats all for the blood donation experience and once again ending off with a youtube video of the FHM girls next door contestants taking off their lingerie on the 987FM show, haha check it out. enjoy and Cheerios! haha.
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 4:23 PM [comment]
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Monday, December 10, 2007
driving test day
WTF?! WTF?! WTF?!?!?!?!
haha cause i totally couldnt believe i passed sia. haha. then once i watch finish the safety video, i went to take photo! haha. i was smiling from grin to grin sia. haha. then finally finish all the administrative work and i got my temporary driving license which i can use as a substitute for a real driving license until they send me the actual one 2 weeks from today.
anyway i think JY is totally right about the getting a good tester thingy, cause some instructors really out to fail you one sia. or they too damn strict or demand a freaking Formula 1 driver kind of standard. luckily mine quite good sia. then also the weather good, whole test never rain, only after i finish everything, eat my lunch at bishan then rain. then the road condition is fucking good also. easy to lane change, no pedestrians anyhow run here and there, got damn a lot of people give way (maybe cause they see the traffic police test plate. haha.) and no chio bus to divert my attention. haha.
anyway i was like freaking nervous and i only slept like 4 am in the morning cause i too freaking excited. then while waiting for the warm up lesson i decided to take out my PSP to play. and guess what i was playing, haha, i was playing Outrun, which is a damn fun racing game where you can drift easily. haha an appropriate game before the test hor? haha. then during the warm up, i only got one thing to say about the whole warm up.
PERFECT
haha. ok ok relax dont bash me up first, i said that cause the road conditions were perfect and like absolutely no cars in the circuit sia. haha. but of course being the kiasu king that i am, i still grabbed the chance to like fine tune all my skills before the actual test so that i will be more confident during the test. then after the warm up we picked the ping pong balls to get the tester and test route. then off we go!
once i entered the car i was like, "fuck i cant believe this is the freaking practical test!!!" haha. but of course must quickly calm myself down then off i went to do the circuit. first up was the directional change and sia lah before i do directional change i stall sia. KNN! then before i turn into the lot for the directional change, i overshot the place where i was supposed to turn sia. i was damn sure i was going back home liao, so i like just full lock and prayed for the best, then sia lah! it didnt mount kerb sia! haha.
but of course after the close shave, i had to be even more alert so i was like in this heightened sense of alertness throughout the test. after the initial hiccup, i was more into the situation, after directional change, i did the slope followed by the vertical parking, then S and CRANK course then parallel parking. for both parking, got car on the other side so like suddenly got flashback in my mind. i remembered one of my instructors saying
"MUST check for vehicles on the other side before
parking!"
parking!"
so i checked and gave way to the other car first then proceeded to do the parking. then sia lah i was damn amazed he did not write a single thing on the assessment paper for the circuit sia. so next i was out on the road to do
TEST ROUTE 10!
btw the tester's name is C. K. MAK. so as i was doing the test route, he started like giving demerit points, then i thought hong gan sia, then sia lah some more got one taxi stop just before traffic light with hazard light on. then i had to overtake, wonder what the taxi driver was thinking. anyway at the traffic light i saw something that was quite funny and disgusting. haha. i saw the driver behind me in the rear view mirror and he is like furiously digging his nose sia. haha. he digging like its the Californian Gold Rush and he carry on happily digging like there is no tomorrow sia. and the funny thing is he thought nobody looking. haha.
so one good tip for all the potential drivers out there, dont try anything stupid or weird or some hanky panky with your boyfriend/girlfriend k? cause when you think no one can see, you are so damn wrong. haha. anyway after that little comedic moment, i was on to finishing my test route and it was mostly without any hiccups until i got to the SSDC gate, i stalled the freaking engine again! then i was thinking i am so screwed but 5 minutes later i was one freaking happy man and the rest is history. haha.
freaking long entry sia. haha. just wanted to share my experience about the driving test, anyway gtg so shall end off here with a X'Mas Youtube video starring Happy Tree Friends, blood, gore and carolling included. haha. Cheerios!
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 1:45 PM [comment]
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Friday, December 7, 2007
对面的女孩看过来
为什么对面的女孩没有看过来?!?!?!
haha. anyway went bowling again today and that is where is saw a cute mei mei. haha. since kim seng bowling alley closed down, its been hard trying to find a cheap bowling alley. but finally due to perseverance and tyco-ness i finally found this place called west bowl which is located at clementi stadium. its got a nice ambience, wonderful animation on the tv screen whenever you strike or spare, cute girl selling stuff at the drinks stall and these posters that remind you to focus on bowling.
but of course besides bowling i also focussed on observing cute mei mei around the bowling alley lah. haha. anyway talking about mei mei and bowling, i realised that my goal shifted quite a lot sia. i mean initially why i wanted to bowl is cause i wanted to attract mei mei by being very good at bowling. but then now my goal is to enter NUS bowling team and eventually and hopefully into TEAM SINGAPORE. but of course i still have a fucking long way to go and i still wanna impress mei mei by being good at bowling lah. haha.
i think lots of our goals do change over time and every stage towards our goal is just a stepping stone. like maybe when you were very young, you wanted to become pornstar, then as you go kindergarten then go primary school, you realised that you dont wanna become pornstar anymore, you wanna become director of porn movies. so you go secondary school and join the video club. then when you go jc, you realise, sia lah you dont wanna be porn director, you wanna be pornstar again. then when go uni and work as pornstar a few years, you change your goal again. now you wanna be a chef and end up setting up a theme restaurant that has a porn theme and you live happily ever after.
that was just an example k? haha. but you get the idea rite? along the way, you grow, you mature, people around you affect you, your own experiences affect you, your goals change, you make friends, you lose friends, you fail, you try harder, you fail again, you succeed and you keep trying and learning and grow to become a better man. thats the beauty of growing up, isnt it? haha.
anyway time to go cookhouse, wait, i mean time to eat dinner haha. so heres another youtube video, enjoy it, enjoy growing up and Cheerios! :)
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 4:44 PM [comment]
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Tuesday, December 4, 2007
OVERSEAS
can also go overseas to do CIP!!! haha. i always wanted to do overseas CIP cause i think its very meaningful and seeing a few of my frens going overseas to do CIP, i also wanna go but got like no contacts sia. haha. hopefully in uni got chance to go then can experience how is it really like. helping others is always a damn good feeling and it give you this sense of satisfaction and a wonderful feeling of euphoria. i know its always a cliche to like say that there are a lot of unfortunate people out there but that is really true.
there are a lot of unfortunate people out there and to be able to lend a helping is really a wonderful thing. whether these unfortunate people are overseas or our fellow citizens, it does mean a lot to them when we help them cause it gives them something very important in life. it makes them feel important cause someone cares for them and when life seems to lose meaning to them, we give them
HOPE
and to be able to give such a wonderful gift, it is up to each and everyone of us. especially during the christmas period which is the season of giving, it is the most appropriate time to lend a helping hand (of course even when not christmas also must help lah! haha.). so while christmas is the time to be happy and party, dont neglect the people around you also k? haha.
after the more serious talk, lets talk about something lighter and funnier. haha. anyway i happened to watch jacky wu's guess guess guess show, then i heard him sing this song which i can really relate to. haha. check it out, maybe some of yall can relate to it too. lol.
then here is another song by mc hotdog about taiwan la mei (aka hot babes).
haha gotta love these two songs and gotta love taiwan. haha. ok gotta bounce. Enjoy the songs and Cheerios! :)
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 4:25 PM [comment]
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Monday, December 3, 2007
GIVE ME ONE STAR!
that means can work out your arms, your back, your technique, bio char bor, kayak into fishing lines, ram into powerboats, disturb duck tours tourists the whole freaking day for just 12 dollars. and most importantly get a nice even tan. which i think is very healthy looking haha. see all the girls always go to those tan and with good body and handsome one. dont have good body, not handsome, got nice tan at least not that bad mah. haha. if white until like hainanese chicken, girls will also notice you, not because they like the skin colour, cause its too glaring. haha.
ok like i said before, beauty is not only skin deep, so its damn naive to attract girls using a nice tan, but nonetheless, its a good plus point rite? haha. character still more impt, if char bor only like your tan and body then when old and wrinkled and white like a hainanese chicken then how?
anyway after the 2 day course, i very happy cause my back ached and my arms ached. haha might sound strange but i very happy cause that shows that i got work out my arms and back while kayaking. anyway i bought some drugs recently..shhh..its a secret..the drug that i bought...is......
C-R-E-A-T-I-N-E
haha. i really hoping that it works sia then can build up a nice body before going to uni. wahahaha. i just started taking 4 days ago so i dont really see much results yet but hopefully over the next few weeks will have lahz. then go from this
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 5:15 PM [comment]
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