BernanaRama
Saturday, October 6, 2007
The Unfamous Anus Show!
Bernanaman: Hey, welcome again to the interview Mr. Anus! I heard that your Ramly Burger business has been doing very well. (much to my surprise...) So what are you planning next?
Mr. Anus: Actually ah i already sold my Ramly Burger business.
Bernanaman: But why?!?!?!
Mr. Anus: Cause of my name lah! I am supposed to be Unfamous, so if my business so famous then must sell lah! Like that so simple also dont understand, you very stoopid sia. not like me got certificate from Singapore's Tremendously Overly Over-Performing Individuals Department (S.T.O.O.P.I.D.) and all my fwens say i am a Damn Uber Magnificent Businessman And Superb Salesman (D.U.M.B.A.S.S.)
Bernanaman: Huh?! (Wtf?!) So you sold your business cause it was just making too much money and making you so famous?! Ok........ Anyway just out of curiosity, where did the hyphen in your name go to? It was initially Un-Famous rite? now it is just Unfamous.
Mr. Anus: Cause the stoopid place make the IC one told me no one got hyphen in their name one lah so they force me take the hyphen out lor.
Bernanaman: Orh icic (i bet no one has the word anus for their name also. haha.) Anyway tell us about your new business venture. I heard you opened a Cybercafe next to the infamous Yang Tze Cinema in Chinatown.
Mr. Anus: Yah nowadays people very into Cybercafe mahz so i thinking sure can make money one.
Bernanaman: But why open beside a porn cinema?
Mr. Anus: Ahhhh very good question. It is because hor my brudder's shop not only sell cookies, also got sell drinks so i thought this 2 in 1 idea quite good, so i thinking maybe i got porn cinema and cybercafe together is good combination also lor.
Bernanaman: Like that also can ah?
Mr. Anus: KNN OF COURSE LAHZ!
Bernanaman: Wah ok ok. Relax Mr Anus, i was just asking a casual question. (Oh man he looked like he was really gonna slaughter me AGAIN...phew). So tell me more about your unique concept.
Mr. Anus: Ok lets say those old and horny lao ah pek go watch Yang Tze show then after that they come out ah, they sure see my cybercafe one then they curious mah so they come in then i give them free 5 mins trial first, then i purposely put all the home page of my Internet Explorers to porn sites, haha so they kenna trapped liao. So they will confirm want to use more than 5 mins so i start making money liao.
Bernanaman: Wah like that ah, then other than that got any other tactics?
Mr. Anus: Haha of course have lah, my Cybercafe some more got sell porn magazine, got sell condom and most importantly, THE PILL...psst the blue colour one. Haha. So you see my cybercafe is so many things combine into one. Like one premium package like that. Haha.
Bernanaman: Wah your cybercafe is totally porn and nothing but porn sia and porn is the only attraction and your target clients are LAO TI KOs.
Mr. Anus: Smart rite? Like that then innovative mah, you tell me got how many shops in Singapore is as daring as me lah!
Bernanaman: Ok ok calm down Mr. Anus, i was just passing a casual remark (i think i better call the police, he like gonna butcher me and eat me up sia. *takes out handphone*).
Mr. Anus: OI! WHAT YOU DOING WITH YOUR HANDPHONE? DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING COURTESY WHEN TALKING TO ME?!?!?!
Bernanaman: No no!!! I was ahhhhh.....I was ahhhhh.....looking at some porn!
Mr. Anus: WHAT?! Aiyo say so earlier lah! Haha you are my kind of guy sia. Haha.
Bernanaman: Hehe thanks Mr. Anus that is very comforting to hear! (as if ah) So since your shop has been so radical, have you gotten into any trouble before?
Mr. Anus: Of course lah! Some government people come investigate, so i let them investigate lor, then dont know why hor they on the computer to check, then 15 mins later they all get heart attack and died sia. Just like all my lao ah pek customers.
Bernanaman: Wah wtf!? Your porn must be too damn fierce. Then like that how your make money?
Mr. Anus: Haha now this is where i am a genius. Everytime a customer comes in hor, i will let them sign a form which is actually a Life Insurance form and the beneficiary is me! haha smart rite? some more hor i helping cut down Singapore's ageing population you know? The President should give me medal sia. Anyway my porn not very fierce lei, cause i always watch also no tai ji but hor i heard all my customers when they died, all their blood clot at their lan jiao sia. Haiz they old already so they buay tong, not like me so strong, everyday drink Guiness with egg! Muahahahaha!
Bernanaman: Eh Mr. Anus i think lets end the interview here lah.
Mr. Anus: No no you always so nice, interview me so well so i brought something for you. *takes out Viagra and laptop*
Bernanaman: Eh eh eh Mr. Anus what you doing!?!?!?
*forces Viagra down my throat and shoves laptop in front my face*
Mr. Anus: Haha nice pictures rite? Good stuff hor? Haha.
Bernanaman: Omg I feeling abit giddy *trousers splits open, grabs chest and blacks out*
Haha, hope yall enjoyed the show! Please give me your valuable feedback! haha
- THAT'S ALL PUNKS -
BerNANA SpLiTtInG at 8:14 PM [comment]
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