bernana man

old job dont go, new job dont come

2008-02-14T20:30:00.006+08:00

Sia lah, yup you didnt read wrongly, i changed my job. for those people who dont know what my job was, ahem i was a

DELIVERY DRIVER!!!

haha. most people know first hear it will be like, "Wah you work for MACDONALDS ah?" then when i say, "Nope." then they will ask, "Orh! so what you deliver?" then i was answer, "everything also deliver." knn like some Fedex advertisement like that.

WE LIVE TO DELIVER!!!

haha but anyway i deliver chap pa lang stuff, got anything from handphones to fans to kettles to documents to showcases to tables and chairs to posters to condoms (nahz just pulling your leg. haha). anyway that was my previous job, my next job is gonna be mocca.com!!! haha. dont worry ok i wont be selling a house with matching green pipes, i also wont be looking for a white maltese for sale and i am also not looking for someone to buy my car with a big boot (babes not included in boot). haha. anyway thats a story for another day cause tmr is my interview. Wish me luck! haha.

anyway there was a somewhat interesting thing that happened to me yesterday. it was a lazy sunny wednesday afternoon and i dragged my lazy bum off my cozy bed and ate bread with bacon and cheese as my "breakfast" (lol when i woke up it was already like 2 pm.) then i went out to nearby bukit merah central to buy groceries and use the AXS machine to collect movie tickets for JMPR (Jumper) . as i was queuing at the AXS machine, i heard this voice call out to me...

"XIAO DI DI..NI KE YI BANG WO MA?"

so i turned around and saw this uncle on the wheelchair selling big sweep tickets. (he always sell the big sweep tickets outside the NTUC) then he said he needed to go pee. so i thought it will be good to do a good deed. so i asked where he wanted to go pee. he said the bus interchange which was like just across the road. so i pushed him to the overhead bridge linking the NTUC and bus interchange. ok at this point, most normal people will think i damn crazy or damn garang, cause yall must be thinking...omg bernanaman kee siao liao, he is gonna carry the uncle up and down the overhead bridge. haha but the good thing is because this overhead bridge got lift! haha.

but the bad thing was when i got there, i saw this huge yellow sign in front of the lift entrance and i bet yall know what that means rite?

LIFT UNDER MAINTAINANCE!!!

then i thought to myself, aiyo jit pai siao liao lah and started wiping cold sweat pouring out of my forehead. haha but luckily the uncle know another route sia. which is to dash across the road. lol. i dont know what was worse, getting squashed to pancakes by buses or tumbling down the stairs with the uncle. anyway i had more chance chiong-ing across the road. so off we went and the buses and cars seem to whizzzz by unusually fast sia knn. but bo bian so i like look for the opportuned moment and just chiong ah!!! luckily all the drivers very understanding sia, see this poor uncle on wheelchair so never horn.

then after successfully bringing the uncle across to the interchange, i thought ok the hard part is over, the next hard part is just bringing him back across the road. but damn there was more to come! haha. i pushed the uncle into the toilet for the disabled and the next thing he said to me was...

XIAO DI DI, NI YE JING LAI

i swear if i was in a japanese anime, i would have this super distressed face...

but of course i didnt show it to him lah. then the next shock came right after i stepped into the toilet sia. he asked me to help pull down his pants!!! i swear i got this face in my mind at that point in time.

then he asked me pass him the bucket and i turned to look away while he did his thing. then another shock came again sia. he said..

XIAO DI DI, KE YI PASS WO TOILET PAPER MA?

then i was like wtf?!?!?!?!? omg dont tell me he wants to take a dump!?!?!? i almost went into cardiac arrest sia. there is only so much shock my puny heart can take sia. but luckily all he wanted to do was to wipe his "little brudder". then after he wipe up and clean his hands, i poured his urine away and washed the bucket and of course i washed my hands also lah! then i pushed him back to the NTUC and the Final Fantasy VIII music started sounding in my head. lol like i just complete a quest like that. haha. so after that i just went about doing my stuff and being a bernanaman

anyway that wraps up my little "quest" or "mission" or whatever you call it and i gotta say its a really unique experience. i dont know if i will ever take care of a disabled person, but at least now i know a little bit of what to expect. i also realised that it would really take a lot of determination to care constantly for a disabled or ill person for extremely long periods of time, just some food for thought yah?

Oh yah before i forget,

last but not least, a youtube video! enjoy and Cheerios!!! :)

bernana's blog is back!

2008-02-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

Hey whazzup guys and gals! i know my blog has been dead for quite a long time but here it is back in action again!!! haha. i am not gonna write much though cause now is like 2.25 am and the zzzz-monster is starting to catch up to me. so i am just gonna upload some photos taken at mosey's house during chinese new year gathering. Cheerios!

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR AND GONG XI FA CAI TO

EVERYONE!!!

fisherman's friend

2008-01-07T17:01:00.000+08:00

Sia lah! i am officially a certified, bona fide, true-blue fisherman, lol, thats in my own opinion lah. but seriously i think i did not bad today considering the great increase in the amount of fish i managed to catch. haha. although some are quite small, but its still fish rite? haha. i even caught some fish to give to other fishermen as live bait to catch even bigger fish. haha and thats how i struck my first conversation with the resident fishermen ah peks at bedok jetty.

anyway fishing is seriously a very good leisure activity. you can learn some technique by watching and talking with the ah peks, it trains your patience, gives you some time away from the bustling city life, it gives you some time in the sun to get a tan and most importantly can bio char bor lah! haha. anyway talking about char bors, i realised one weird thing about the fishes. the taman always bite the bait whenever a char bors walk past sia. all i can say about the tamans, is that they are one bunch of very very "hum sup" (read: buaya, horny, desperate etc) fishes. i bet if you put one FHM magazine on the hook you can catch all the tamans in bedok jetty sia. haha.

anyway after fishing for like 4 or 5 hours i ended my mindless rampage on the poor fishes and headed to wash up and go for lunch. and on my way out of East Coast Park, i saw this familiar guy whom i saw once at bedok jetty and when he saw me, he asked,

"GOT TAMAN TODAY???"

honestly i got abit of a shock, cause i didnt expect him to talk to me. some more he asked in a very casual manner, so i was even more shocked. haha. i dont mind people being casual about asking questions, dont have to be so formal like "Excuse me, sir, sorry for bothering you on this fine afternoon, i just wanted to ask you if there are any tamans today at bedok jetty." but i was shocked by how a simple hobby such as fishing help two people to communicate easily and freely. i guess when there is an obvious common interest, it is easier to bridge the gap between 2 complete strangers.

after answering the man in the same casual manner,

"YAH! GOT A LOT!"

i continued on my way to the hawker centre opposite Temasek Junior College where i was going to have my lunch. and guess what?! i ran into my JC Physics teacher, Mr Chan Cheow Wee! haha. and we had the following conversation.

Bernanaman: Hey Mr. Chan!

Mr. Chan: Hey! blah-blah-blah...

Bernanaman: *moves closer to hear what he saying*

Mr. Chan: blah-blah-blah...

Bernanaman: *moves even closer to hear what he saying*

Mr. Chan: Hey where you going now?

Bernanaman: *finally hears what he was saying* Oh i going to have lunch!

Mr. Chan: Oic, so where are you studying now?

Bernanaman: NUS but i havent go in yet.

Mr. Chan: Oh good! What course are ya taking?

Bernanaman: Mechanical Engineering.

Mr. Chan: Haha good good. All the best!

Bernanaman: Haha thanks! Bye Mr. Chan!

Mr. Chan: Bye bye!

ok the funny part is the beginning of the conversation. haha for people who dont know Mr. Chan Cheow Wee, he is a notoriously fast talker (no offence Mr. Chan, if you are reading this. haha.) and the reason why at the start he is saying blah-blah-blah is cause i couldnt freaking make out what he was trying to say!!! haha. if you were to put bullets in his mouth, he would be a machine gun sia. and will never IA one. haha.

anyway it was really a surprise meeting him and it had been like 2 whole freaking years ever since i stepped anywhere close to my JC. damn i miss those days where you can crack lame and funny jokes with your classmates, eat fishball mee at the hawker centre with frens, drink my favourite longan drink at canteen and most imptly bio char bor in lecture hall. haha. oh yah on a side note, i saw Quan Yi Feng and Zhong Qing! lol.

i think today quite an eventful day sia, very fruitful also. anyway time to end this entry, so i shall leave yall here with a hokkien song recommended by caveboi. haha enjoy and Cheerios!

haha another hokkien video. trust me its damn funny! haha gotta watch it!

racing in the heartlands

2008-01-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!!! Sia lah yesterday night i took my father's car out for a spin again. and its really super fun. especially when driving like in the wee hours of the morning. not many cars, not many jaywalking pedestrians and most importantly not many cute mei mei to get me distracted. haha. getting distracted is damn dangerous sia, especially when i was driving at 100 km/h at a 70 km/h road. one little distraction and i can buang and fly off the road sia.

anyway yesterday i was "racing" along west coast highway and it seriously felt damn shiok. but the most shiok part was still when i went up to this extemely long viaduct. stretching from pasir panjang to keppel. and it was really like deserted sia. i saw this car on the viaduct which was quite a distance from me, so doing what every adrenaline-pumping, testosterone-filled, crazy driver would do, i tried to catch up with the other car. so i was basically like just flooring the accelerator like there is no tomorrow. then before i knew it, i was going at

120 km/h on a 70 km/h viaduct!

haha i know thats crazy, haha and i also know most of the time i am one crazy bastard so i just kept up with the 120 km/h speed. in the end i caught up with the car and started pulling away from it. haha at that time i really felt damn orgasmic sia. haha. cause first of all its damn scary to be speeding more than 50km/h over the speed limit cause i can get my license revoked. secondly, its still damn fun to be going so damn fast haha. the feeling is like you are in a cinema watching Ju-On while reading an issue of FHM TOP 100 Girls-Next-Door. haha.

anyway the Need For Speed soon subsided cause i was exiting out from the viaduct very soon after i overtook the car. then as i headed home, i was damn tempted to go for a spin on Mount Faber again so i gave in to the temptation and headed for Mount Faber. but on the way there, i almost had a heart attack cause i saw this traffic police vehicle parked by the side of the road. after doing something against the law, you can imagine how afraid i was. it is like successfully stealing from the cookie jar just before dinner and your mum suddenly walks into the kitchen. you will definitely chua tio. haha.

anyway i quickly got pass the traffic police and apparently there was a small accident so that explains why the traffic police was there. then off i went to

MOUNT AKINA!

lol pai say ah. typo typo, i meant to say Mount Faber. haha. oh yah if yall have the chance, wind down the window and drive, its a very different feeling but in a good way. haha i dont really know how to describe, you just gotta experience it. haha. anyway when i was travelling up Mount Faber, i noticed a few deserted carparks. haha. ok thats out of the point, haha, as i was saying, i was going up Mount Faber and i saw quite a lot of couples sia. there were all sort of couples, got skinny, plump, short, tall, young and old and most importantly got

HOT BABES AND CUTE MEI MEI!

ok ok i am not a voyeur k? haha. anyway half of the time i had the urge to like use my headlight's high beam to flash those people showing PDA (Public Displays of Affection). haha. but after a little contemplation, i decided not to haha cause next time when i have a gf, i hope others wont do that also. haha. but the weird thing is even when i did not use high beam, some couples also look damn shocked when i drove past, the expression on their faces look exactly like those lions on Animal Planet that are caught in the middle of their mating ritual sia. haha.

anyway after the "sightseeing" and "racing", i headed back home, but tonight i am gonna be driving again. haha. time to have some fun and time to end off this entry with another youtube video. enjoy and Cheerios!

medley

2007-12-30T14:28:00.000+08:00

VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

ARIES - TheDaredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.

LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

CANCER - The Protector
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendl y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

haha this is just a little something my fren sent to me in an email. hope yall like reading about your own horoscopes. haha. i know some people totally dont believe in horoscopes, but still its fun to read. haha i guess cause most of the times, horoscopes says good stuff about you.

haha funny pic yeah? it was sent by one of my frens also. haha.

this last picture was taken on friday when i took my dad's car out for a spin. i drove up mount faber and there was this fantastic view and i just had to take a picture of it. anyway it was taken at around 2 am and i saw a few couples taking a stroll. damn i miss the feeling of taking a slow walk with a char bor sia. haiz emo again. haha. anyway its time to stop slacking and look for a job. wish me luck! haha. oh yah last but not least i will end off a youtube video. if you guys like the movie 300 or Warlords, yall will love this video but there is twist to the video. haha check it out and Cheerios!

spoilt clock

2007-12-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

Sia lah!

MY STUPID CLOCK IS SO DAMN MESSED UP

and i cant bloody fix it!!! argh! ok if yall think i am crazy, i definitely wont blame you. haha cause i didnt make myself clear at all, when i say my stupid clock is damn messed up, i was referring to my biological clock. its been almost 2 months since i ORD-ed and ever since i started becoming a civilian, i have screwed up my biological clock. and when i mean screwed up, it really is very very very screwed up.

i will like go to sleep at around 2 or 3 am in the morning, sometimes even at 4 or 5 am in the morning and will wake up only at 11 am or 12 pm, sometimes i can even wake up at 2 or 3 pm. and its always this vicious cycle of waking up late, thus not being able to go to sleep early thus waking late again on the next day. then if i do manage to get up early, i would be able to set my biological clock right again. but after a few days, it would go haywire again.

and sometimes if i do manage to get up early, i would get shagged out by later afternoon and be tempted to take a cat nap but a cat nap usually turns out to be a 2 to 3 hour sleep and i would f up my clock again. sometimes i wonder how come when in army, i can wake up on time and sleep early but when i am at home, it is just totally different. i know a few of my frens suffer from this problem also. some can correct it easily (envy these bunch of people), some dont even suffer from this problem at all! (how i wish i could be like them sia.)

i know the main cause of my problem, i just love sleeping so much especially when the weather is cooling or its raining. sometimes i can be damn sure my actual parents are actually a koala bear and a sloth sia. haha. then i would be like some kinda mixed breed, lean mean sleeping machine. anyway its time to find a job soon and get some income and now that i got so accustomed to slacking, it would be damn hard to start my engine again sia. how i wish got some kinda "nitrous boost" or some shiet and by "nitrous boost", i mean a gf to motivate me. haiz. oh well thats a blog entry for another day! haha now i shall just leave yall with another youtube video! enjoy! Cheerios.

psssst....the main focus of this video is the cute mei mei, not Vic Zhou. haha.

honky honky honk honk

2007-12-23T20:56:00.000+08:00

Sia lah! woohoo! finally got my license yesterday, as in the card, so now i can throw away that piece of paper that served as my temporary driving license. haha. been driving for 2 weeks already and like seen almost any kind of driver there ever is.

there is the usual taxi uncle who is a very safe and courteous driver when his cab is not occupied but transforms into a clutch-kicking, jam-braking, fast gear-shifting speed demon when there is a passenger on board. then when you too slow or in his way, he will not think twice about honking you or giving you a flash of his state-of-the-art XENON HID HEADLAMP HIGH BEAM.

then there is the driver that thinks he is playing Need For Speed Pro Street on his XBox 360 cause he is "drafting" behind your car. and by "drafting", i mean tailgating. i mean he is so freaking close, when you look into your rear view mirror, you see nothing but that crazy bugger's face. its that damn close.

then of course, which expressway can be lacking of the driver who swerves in and out of the 3rd and 4th lane and overtaking cars like he is in a rush to send a pregnant woman to the hospital. if you give him a F1 car, i bet he will be faster than Michael Schumacher.

there will also be the i-wont-let-you-lane-change driver, these kind of drivers are the worst to deal with, cause you cant freaking honk at them cause they are behind or beside you and you cant just cut into his lane cause you might risk having him hit your rear bumper. and its especially frustrating when its the do-or-die kind of lane change ie if you dont lane change, you miss the turn and have to find a u-turn or alternate route. so its always best to know the route well and always plan ahead, i know the frustration cause sometimes i dont plan well also. haha.

then last but not least, its the indecisive driver, the one changes lane last minute, the one who doesnt know whether to go or not to go at the stop line, the one who cannot decide whether or not to pick up his handphone while driving, the one who cannot decide whether to read FHM or Maxim while driving etc etc etc.

anyway i am glad i havent honk anyone yet and i hope i wont have to honk anyone, cause honking usually means, someone pissed you off, you wanna piss someone off, theres a crazy pedestrian standing in the middle of the road, theres a dangerous situation or your hands are just itchy to press the horn. haha.

anyway safety is always of utmost importance and recently i heard that in Vietnam, the government set a rule for motorcyclists to wear helmets cause there are too many accidents involving motorcyclists and some of their deaths could have been prevented by wearing helmets. so whats the reason for Vietnamnese not taking care of their precious heads before the implementation of this rule? one of their reasons is that the helmets look like rice cookers. haha and immediately i had this mental image.

haha sometimes i just think of crazy things. haha. anyway safety should always be the chief concern. so i am gonna show yall this video that is really frightening to watch and hope it brings across the message that we should always be good pedestrians, drivers and motorcyclists. Cheerios!

dildo-like christmas tree

2007-12-18T14:59:00.000+08:00

THAT CHRISTMAS THING LOOKS LIKE A DILDO LA!

Wah seh! Yup man dont worry, you are not cock-eye, you are not at the wrong blog, you are not at some freaking online sex shop, you did see the word "DILDO" but trust me this entry is rated PG. haha. my friend DD made the above comment and it was because i sent him this picture.

lol and yup just in case you are wondering what is the dildo that he is referring to, it is the bright blue colour thingy in the picture. and trust me it isnt a dildo ok? it is a

FREAKING-LONG-GIGANTIC-BLUE DILDO!

haha no lah just pulling your leg, it is actually one of those huge transmission towers on Mount Faber and i guess people who came up with the idea must have been thinking, "hey why dont we do something different from those stupid people at orchard road who spend tons of money on decorations. lets just buy some cheap lights and combine it with the transmission tower to make a gigantic christmas tree." i think its a great idea sia and this isnt the first time they decorated the transmission tower for those who have seen it in previous years.

anyway its a good spot to bring your girlfriend or potential girlfriend or wife to take a look at something different from the usual (ie old-school) orchard road christmas decorations. i will try to get photos of the dildo.... i mean christmas tree up close by driving up Mount Faber then drifting down Mount Faber afterwards like Takumi in his AE86. lol kidding lah, i know i dont have the looks and skills to be like Takumi k? haha.

btw talking about drifting, i immediately think about zhng-ing cars, which reminds me about the huge exhaust of those ah-beng cars that sound like they are dragging a freaking jet fighter behind their cars sia. it sounds kinda cool but sometimes its just too freaking loud, i bet most people will know where to get one of these pimped out exhausts, but bet yall dont know who started this trend rite? haha the pioneer is none other than

MY LAO PEH

haha. yall must be wondering, bernanaman has lost it, he has finally lost it, he is a nutcase. but hear me out, haha, my dad used to drive a Daihatsu Charade

and it had freaking lots of problems, sometimes it had to be pushed to be started, sometimes it couldnt even start at all, sometimes the engine overheats plus lots of other problems. if it was alive now, i would compare it to a 40 year old man, with clogged arteries, arthritis, stroke, Parkinson and incontinence. it is that jia lat but the main point is, the exhaust spoils too! thats when my father's car sounds like those ah-beng cars. considering he did this like 15 years ago, he could very well be the pioneer of loud exhausts! haha.

haha in case you are wondering, his car sounds like that cause there were freaking holes in the muffler!!! haha but pls dont go start poking your father's precious Lexus or Jaguar's muffler k?

anyway time for me to go lie on my cozy bed, haha. Enjoy the youtube video! Cheerios!

Initial B

2007-12-17T17:48:00.000+08:00

Sia lah! i bet most of the people out there have watched the movie or the anime or read the manga about Initial D but i dare to bet my big fat ass that no one has ever watched

Initial B

haha yall must be damn curious about this thing called Initial B rite? haha. in Initial D, D stands for drift but knn for Initial B, B stands for BUS, yes thats rite, you didnt read wrongly, it stands for B-U-S. the bus that i was sitting in was seriously driving like he was playing Crazy Taxi in the arcade sia. if there were was no traffic, i was pretty damn sure he was gonna drift the bus. and the bus driver obviously couldnt judge distance very well cause he kept stopping just mere inches away from the vehicle in front of him. and a few times i was so fucking scared that he was gonna buang cause if he did, i would fly straight out the front window of the second deck.

and one other crazy thing that he did that i have never ever seen another bus driver doing is that he overtook another bus! i mean that might sound like nothing serious, but what actually happened was really crazy. he was following behind this bus and i guess he thought it was too darn slow for his Formula 1 racing skills, so he change lane to the right, then accelerate like crazy, then swerve back to the left (which is the bus lane), then he overshot the freaking bus stop sia. knn crazy bastard.

anyway i took a picture of this advertisement that caught my attention and coincidentally, this is also the bus that the crazy bus driver overtook.

sia lah its been raining for like almost everyday for the past 2 weeks sia. i am not complaining but sia lah sometimes sunny also good lah, then can go out and play. but rain also good, haha very good weather for sleeping and relaxing one corner at home. best weather is those kind cloudy, cooling but no rain one. haha rain then very inconvenient to go outdoors cause must carry umbrella. haha but for someone i know, i shall call him MKK, he freaking happy when it rained while he was outdoors cause he can walk in the rain with the char bor he like. haha. sia lah how i wish i also can walk in rain with char bor.

ok enough dreaming bernanaman haha, anyway its time to end off this entry with another youtube video!!! haha. Cheerios!

blood donation

2007-12-13T16:23:00.000+08:00

Woot! finally got down to donation blood after the Red Cross Society sent me a second SMS saying they urgently need A blood type donors. so i happily went down to the blood bank @ HSA (Health Sciences Authority). then before i went for registration, i went to use their toilet cause i seriously had to shit and i was pretty darn sure i my anus was going to explode if i didnt go toilet soon. and sia lah i found a very interesting thing in the toilet.

haha then being the curious and mischievous and naughty and reckless person i am, i didnt bother about the instructions before turning the knob and before i know it, i felt this jet of water spray onto my arm. then i got this sudden realisation that it is actually for washing my BIG FAT ASS!!! haha. so i decided to try this little gadget and i gotta say, its the best darn thing i ever felt sia. haha. you can even adjust how hard you want the jet to be sia. its freaking cool! haha. and if you ask me about the experience, i can only say it was

ASS-CITING

haha anyway let me show yall a little parody of this toilet poster, not very genuine looking but still its the best i could do with paint. haha.

anyway i heard of this ass washing gadget before, but i thought only girls had it in their toilet sia, now guys toilet have also! haha. its gotta the be the best thing that ever happened for guys ever since the equality of the sexes thing started. haha. anyway after the enjoyable wash down of my bon-bons. i went for blood donation. of course before that must fill up some forms, do a check up then finally the blood donation.

i have done blood donations more than once and it never ceases to please me how polite and gentle the auntie nurses are, whether you are first time blood donor, regular blood donor, girl or guy, easy to find vein, difficult to find vein, fat, thin, tall, short, young or old, they will always be able to like ease your uneasiness and let the blood donation go as smoothly as it possibly can. haha.

by the way i received this little pamphlet and its says that we need more regular blood donors, cause only 2.5% of the eligible population is donating blood and we need a pool of regular donors of at least 4% to meet the demands of blood transfusion in Singapore and the good thing about being a regular blood donor is that in times of blood shortages, regular blood donors are given priority for non-emergency requirement for blood.

anyway i have no idea what they mean by regular blood donor, haha i mean how regular is regular sia, every week one blood donation? (no lah i am kidding, every 3 months then can donate once). haha. but anyway its always a good thing to donate blood if you can,

GIVE BLOOD, GIVE LIFE

and you know now is the season of giving so what could be a better time to donate some of your precious blood rite? haha. do some good deeds then maybe Santa Claus will give you the iPhone or Mazda RX8 or Playstation 3 or the limited edition she-male Barbie doll you have been wishing for the whole year instead of some serious ass whooping for being a naughty boy or girl. haha. moreover its a good chance to show your garang-ness to the girl you are jio-ing. then you can maybe like grab the chance and hold her hand to give her some emotional support. haha.

anyway thats all for the blood donation experience and once again ending off with a youtube video of the FHM girls next door contestants taking off their lingerie on the 987FM show, haha check it out. enjoy and Cheerios! haha.

driving test day

2007-12-10T13:45:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!!! you totally cant believe how elated i was when the tester told me i passed sia. cause i was like thinking siao liao lah i drive so fucking badly sure kenna screwed upside down inside out. but then when he put the fucking tick on the fucking box that had the word "pass" on it, i was like

WTF?! WTF?! WTF?!?!?!?!

haha cause i totally couldnt believe i passed sia. haha. then once i watch finish the safety video, i went to take photo! haha. i was smiling from grin to grin sia. haha. then finally finish all the administrative work and i got my temporary driving license which i can use as a substitute for a real driving license until they send me the actual one 2 weeks from today.

anyway i think JY is totally right about the getting a good tester thingy, cause some instructors really out to fail you one sia. or they too damn strict or demand a freaking Formula 1 driver kind of standard. luckily mine quite good sia. then also the weather good, whole test never rain, only after i finish everything, eat my lunch at bishan then rain. then the road condition is fucking good also. easy to lane change, no pedestrians anyhow run here and there, got damn a lot of people give way (maybe cause they see the traffic police test plate. haha.) and no chio bus to divert my attention. haha.

anyway i was like freaking nervous and i only slept like 4 am in the morning cause i too freaking excited. then while waiting for the warm up lesson i decided to take out my PSP to play. and guess what i was playing, haha, i was playing Outrun, which is a damn fun racing game where you can drift easily. haha an appropriate game before the test hor? haha. then during the warm up, i only got one thing to say about the whole warm up.

PERFECT

haha. ok ok relax dont bash me up first, i said that cause the road conditions were perfect and like absolutely no cars in the circuit sia. haha. but of course being the kiasu king that i am, i still grabbed the chance to like fine tune all my skills before the actual test so that i will be more confident during the test. then after the warm up we picked the ping pong balls to get the tester and test route. then off we go!

once i entered the car i was like, "fuck i cant believe this is the freaking practical test!!!" haha. but of course must quickly calm myself down then off i went to do the circuit. first up was the directional change and sia lah before i do directional change i stall sia. KNN! then before i turn into the lot for the directional change, i overshot the place where i was supposed to turn sia. i was damn sure i was going back home liao, so i like just full lock and prayed for the best, then sia lah! it didnt mount kerb sia! haha.

but of course after the close shave, i had to be even more alert so i was like in this heightened sense of alertness throughout the test. after the initial hiccup, i was more into the situation, after directional change, i did the slope followed by the vertical parking, then S and CRANK course then parallel parking. for both parking, got car on the other side so like suddenly got flashback in my mind. i remembered one of my instructors saying

"MUST check for vehicles on the other side before

parking!"

so i checked and gave way to the other car first then proceeded to do the parking. then sia lah i was damn amazed he did not write a single thing on the assessment paper for the circuit sia. so next i was out on the road to do

TEST ROUTE 10!

btw the tester's name is C. K. MAK. so as i was doing the test route, he started like giving demerit points, then i thought hong gan sia, then sia lah some more got one taxi stop just before traffic light with hazard light on. then i had to overtake, wonder what the taxi driver was thinking. anyway at the traffic light i saw something that was quite funny and disgusting. haha. i saw the driver behind me in the rear view mirror and he is like furiously digging his nose sia. haha. he digging like its the Californian Gold Rush and he carry on happily digging like there is no tomorrow sia. and the funny thing is he thought nobody looking. haha.

so one good tip for all the potential drivers out there, dont try anything stupid or weird or some hanky panky with your boyfriend/girlfriend k? cause when you think no one can see, you are so damn wrong. haha. anyway after that little comedic moment, i was on to finishing my test route and it was mostly without any hiccups until i got to the SSDC gate, i stalled the freaking engine again! then i was thinking i am so screwed but 5 minutes later i was one freaking happy man and the rest is history. haha.

freaking long entry sia. haha. just wanted to share my experience about the driving test, anyway gtg so shall end off here with a X'Mas Youtube video starring Happy Tree Friends, blood, gore and carolling included. haha. Cheerios!

对面的女孩看过来

2007-12-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

Sia lah almost like everyday i will like see some cute mei mei or some hot chick. yesterday saw this very very cute girl at church but one thing that saddens me is that i see them but they dont see me sia. damn sad. why sia WHY!?!?!?

为什么对面的女孩没有看过来?!?!?!

haha. anyway went bowling again today and that is where is saw a cute mei mei. haha. since kim seng bowling alley closed down, its been hard trying to find a cheap bowling alley. but finally due to perseverance and tyco-ness i finally found this place called west bowl which is located at clementi stadium. its got a nice ambience, wonderful animation on the tv screen whenever you strike or spare, cute girl selling stuff at the drinks stall and these posters that remind you to focus on bowling.

but of course besides bowling i also focussed on observing cute mei mei around the bowling alley lah. haha. anyway talking about mei mei and bowling, i realised that my goal shifted quite a lot sia. i mean initially why i wanted to bowl is cause i wanted to attract mei mei by being very good at bowling. but then now my goal is to enter NUS bowling team and eventually and hopefully into TEAM SINGAPORE. but of course i still have a fucking long way to go and i still wanna impress mei mei by being good at bowling lah. haha.

i think lots of our goals do change over time and every stage towards our goal is just a stepping stone. like maybe when you were very young, you wanted to become pornstar, then as you go kindergarten then go primary school, you realised that you dont wanna become pornstar anymore, you wanna become director of porn movies. so you go secondary school and join the video club. then when you go jc, you realise, sia lah you dont wanna be porn director, you wanna be pornstar again. then when go uni and work as pornstar a few years, you change your goal again. now you wanna be a chef and end up setting up a theme restaurant that has a porn theme and you live happily ever after.

that was just an example k? haha. but you get the idea rite? along the way, you grow, you mature, people around you affect you, your own experiences affect you, your goals change, you make friends, you lose friends, you fail, you try harder, you fail again, you succeed and you keep trying and learning and grow to become a better man. thats the beauty of growing up, isnt it? haha.

anyway time to go cookhouse, wait, i mean time to eat dinner haha. so heres another youtube video, enjoy it, enjoy growing up and Cheerios! :)

OVERSEAS

2007-12-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

Wah lan eh, wanna go overseas damn badly, go taiwan, go japan or go on some 3 weeks backpacking or some trekking or mountain hiking also shiok. i need some excitement, something new, something mind boggling, something that is a real eye-opener and i think the best way for that is to go overseas for some time to see see look look and experience something outside of singapore.

can also go overseas to do CIP!!! haha. i always wanted to do overseas CIP cause i think its very meaningful and seeing a few of my frens going overseas to do CIP, i also wanna go but got like no contacts sia. haha. hopefully in uni got chance to go then can experience how is it really like. helping others is always a damn good feeling and it give you this sense of satisfaction and a wonderful feeling of euphoria. i know its always a cliche to like say that there are a lot of unfortunate people out there but that is really true.

there are a lot of unfortunate people out there and to be able to lend a helping is really a wonderful thing. whether these unfortunate people are overseas or our fellow citizens, it does mean a lot to them when we help them cause it gives them something very important in life. it makes them feel important cause someone cares for them and when life seems to lose meaning to them, we give them

HOPE

and to be able to give such a wonderful gift, it is up to each and everyone of us. especially during the christmas period which is the season of giving, it is the most appropriate time to lend a helping hand (of course even when not christmas also must help lah! haha.). so while christmas is the time to be happy and party, dont neglect the people around you also k? haha.

after the more serious talk, lets talk about something lighter and funnier. haha. anyway i happened to watch jacky wu's guess guess guess show, then i heard him sing this song which i can really relate to. haha. check it out, maybe some of yall can relate to it too. lol.

then here is another song by mc hotdog about taiwan la mei (aka hot babes).

haha gotta love these two songs and gotta love taiwan. haha. ok gotta bounce. Enjoy the songs and Cheerios! :)

GIVE ME ONE STAR!

2007-12-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

Song bo! i got one star kayaking certification! woot! that means can go rent kayak and go kayaking lo. but then hor one star still got lots of limitations. like cannot go here cannot go there then cannot wear the sexy spray skirt (lol i am kidding, spray skirt is not sexy at all) to prevent water from going in. so that means capsize cannot save myself, must wait for others to come and rescue. but seriously ah i realised that kayaking is a freaking inexpensive sport. its like 12 dollars for full day rental sia.

that means can work out your arms, your back, your technique, bio char bor, kayak into fishing lines, ram into powerboats, disturb duck tours tourists the whole freaking day for just 12 dollars. and most importantly get a nice even tan. which i think is very healthy looking haha. see all the girls always go to those tan and with good body and handsome one. dont have good body, not handsome, got nice tan at least not that bad mah. haha. if white until like hainanese chicken, girls will also notice you, not because they like the skin colour, cause its too glaring. haha.

ok like i said before, beauty is not only skin deep, so its damn naive to attract girls using a nice tan, but nonetheless, its a good plus point rite? haha. character still more impt, if char bor only like your tan and body then when old and wrinkled and white like a hainanese chicken then how?

anyway after the 2 day course, i very happy cause my back ached and my arms ached. haha might sound strange but i very happy cause that shows that i got work out my arms and back while kayaking. anyway i bought some drugs recently..shhh..its a secret..the drug that i bought...is......

C-R-E-A-T-I-N-E

haha. i really hoping that it works sia then can build up a nice body before going to uni. wahahaha. i just started taking 4 days ago so i dont really see much results yet but hopefully over the next few weeks will have lahz. then go from this

to this!

haha. anyway gotta bounce so i shall leave yall with this youtube video showing the AUDI R8!!! this totally different from the crappy advertisment shown on tv. haha freaking nice car. check it out! Cheerios!

In Memory

2007-11-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

This song is in memory of you Wei Cheng.

HIROs

2007-11-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

Woohoo! i am catching the HEROES fever. its just one damn fantastic show, i mean its like this x-men show except without the spandex and leather outfits. haha. anyway its one damn cool show and i am damn into it. i am like hooked on it sia. its like some kinda drug and i totally like hiro nakamura. hes like one damn funny character. sometimes when the episode like gets damn serious then knn this funny crackass japanese guy just comes on and says some funny shit that just leaves you laughing your ass off.

anyway enough about heroes, i finally got down to applying for the 1 star kayaking course. for damn long i wanted to apply for it and get the license to rent kayaks and kayak around the waters. then after that went down to beach road to have the delicious chicken rice. omg i just love the taste of the chicken rice. its damn fucking nice. as what mr seetoh of makansutra would say,

"DIE DIE MUST TRY!"

this chicken rice will seriously make you just give up eating the rest of the chicken rice in singapore. it is that FREAKING DELICIOUS! oh by the way i was with parngwayz (SISPEC buddy) and i was asking him questions about his gf and him then he said that when he was like at the stage where he was jio-ing her, he would sms her and the messages would be

SENSITIVE BUT PUSHING THE LIMITS

then i was thinking about it for a while then like some kinda revelation, there was this word that popped up in my mind

FLIRTING

lol so basically, he was just trying to say he was flirting with the gal with the SMSes. i think that is a skill that is hard to pick up sia. i mean its easy to flirt, but to flirt properly, that is freaking difficult. you have to flirt without being too aggressive, if not you will scare the girl away sia. aiyo this skill hard to learn sia. i must learn more from him next time. haha.

anyway i am damn sad that kim seng bowling alley is closing down next weekend cause that would mean no more value for money (a.k.a cheap)bowling. but i sad also because i train a lot there and met some really nice people and the auntie at the counter also very polite. haiz oh well, the world doesnt stop spinning because of a bowling alley, i guess we have to move on. i do hope one day kim seng will have a bowling alley again with all the nice people. haha.

gtg now so as usual i will post another youtube video, but this time this video is not for the faint of heart. haha. Cheerios!

fart-filled bus

2007-11-20T20:14:00.000+08:00

Ai seh have you ever wondered how fart would smell like in a bus? would it be different from fart in a lift or fart in a car? would all the fart gather at the back of the bus cause the bus is moving forward? would it be more smelly? would it be more fruity? would it be more toxic? well let me clear all your doubts cause today i have been a victim of

B-U-S F-A-R-T

it totally isnt a pleasant experience you know, cause you got no bloody way to escape!!! you cant jump out the bus and you cant open the window (cause it is air-conditioned)!!! so what you can do is sit there and lan lan sniff in the bloody foul air. but oh well bo bian fart happens. what i admired was the person's ability to fart without being detected. haha i mean its not very hard but also not very easy to avoid being detected. so thats why i came up with some tips for you farters out there who cant help but fart in crowded public places.

the first tip is,

ACCUSE FIRST, TALK LATER

first always wins, so just accuse first, people will less likely to suspect you are the one who farted when you are the first one to raise the question about why the air suddenly got smell of garlic and baked beans. like by saying "wah so smelly" or "aiyo who pang pui".

the second tip is,

STEALTH IS THE KEY

if you dont say a thing, most probably no one will notice. but this is only good for very crowded places. if you are in a lift and there are only 3 people, even if you dont make a sound, they will also suspect you, cause the number of suspects really too little! so use your brain k? dont die die use this method. do whatever you can to save your reputation.

the third and final tip is,

ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS

this is nothing short of brilliant. this tip will blow your minds away. what you do is simply just cover your mouth and nose with your hand. this immediately sends an obvious message to others that you are also a victim of a farter but when you are actually the culprit. haha.

anyway thats all the tip i have for you farters out there to continue farting but still protect your face. oh yah anyway these tips are only for those with silent fart, for those who fart with a resounding boom, these tips wont save your sorry ass even in a thousand years. so the question comes, how do we determine when is our fart silent? haha. if you feel your fart coming and you feel like its a bit damp, then its a silent fart cause what the moisture does to your fart is like what a silencer does to a gun or what a muffler does to your car's exhaust. it reduces the noise and poof you have a silent fart.

but what the moisture also means is that your fart will be smelly and with practice, you will be nothing short of a silent killer. muahahaha. for those who have a loud fart, just hold it there in your ass. but since it is most likely not smelly, it wouldnt hurt to let it out, just that you will feel abit pai say when people start staring at you. and in the rare case that a loud fart is also smelly, i only have one thing to say,

MAY GOD BLESS US ALL

haha. thats enough about fart, i shall end off this entry with a Shayne Ward MTV entitled If That's OK With You. its a beautiful song, check it out and i swear some parts sounds like its sung by Alvin And The Chipmunks. haha Cheerios! *fart* lol

birds of the same feather flock together

2007-11-16T16:57:00.000+08:00

Alrighty then, before i even get into main topic, i just wanna say,

"THE ASEAN RISE MTV SUX!!!"

i mean no offence to sun yan zi, but i mean its ridiculous to show an european car in a video that is supposed to invoke feelings of pride in ASEAN. i mean they could have used a proton car (manufactured in malaysia) or dont even use a car at all. anyway if use proton i doubt we will be like proud of it cause proton sux. anyway i am not like some ASEAN fanatic that will go on the streets to protest or blow myself up using some bomb strapped to my body. i am just saying the video show have been done in a more politically correct way.

enough about ASEAN, i am gonna go straight to the main topic. i realised that people who have the same interests or beliefs or have other obvious similarities, they tend to be able to open up to each other more easily. i realised this when i was bowling this week. i bowled twice and both times, there was a spinner beside my lane and both times we had a conversation going. and this wasnt the first time such a thing happened. whenever there is like a spinner nearby, confirm will talk.

maybe cause spinners are quite rare and so when ya see a spinner, i think there is like this subconscious attraction or something like that. haha. dont really know how to express that kind of feeling. anyway today got raffles girls at the bowling alley! haha. they were having training there and i got to see charlotte again. oh yah btw sir if you are reading this, krystal and the girl with the black adidas skirt was there also. dont start PCC-ing ok? haha. anyway charlotte is just absolutely amazing, she has this beautiful form and grace when she hooks the ball. which makes her like damn attractive and she is cute also. haha and how did i know her name? cause got the tv screen above each lane then it shows each bowler's name. haha.

oh and there was this group of 3 people (2 girls, 1 guy) bowling in the next lane and got one girl quite cute looking one. the weird thing was she used my towel to clean her bowling ball without like asking first. i mean i dont mind, not because she is a cute girl but maybe she thought it was a towel provided by the bowling alley or something. once even more weird a stranger just take my bowling ball and bowl with it without asking also, but its ok lahz, haha maybe he mistook it for a house ball.

then as i bowled beside the cute girl, something unlucky happened, the blister that was on my right thumb suddenly like tore, as in the skin like totally came off. then i thought maybe i can tong so i continued playing. then KNN it was so painful that i struggled to even finish off the game that already started. then i sian diao cause only see the cute gal for a short while, want to catch a few more glimpses also cannot. guess whats not meant to be is not meant to be hor. haha.

anyway i added a new survey thingy if yall have noticed. thought it would be fun. haha. anyway gtg now. oh yeah before i go, enjoy this little video from youtube! Cheerios! :)

growing old

2007-11-13T18:08:00.000+08:00

Dammit, i dont know if its a good thing to be growing old after all. i mean there are pros and cons, you have more freedom, you can earn your own income, you can jio older and cuter mei mei but as you grow old, you also have less time to play games, you have more responsibilities and holidays dont seem to excite you anymore.

this only seemed more apparent as i met my old SISPEC buddy yesterday. btw his name is parngwayz and we talked about a lot of stuff, like when going to work, going where to study, telling jokes, bio-ing char bors then as we talked i realised that i really am going to become an adult. no more being a TEENager, got to be more mature, think more rationally and be more responsible. when i was still like freaking young, i couldnt wait to be an adult, but now i wish that i could slow time down and learn more about being an adult before being an adult.

that's because i am really like not ready to become an adult at all sia, i mean like both mentally and physically. i still look like a freaking boy boy sia, knn. my mental and physical state simply dont match up with the age. so i guess i gotta work doubly hard at being an adult. anyway as we were talking, we went into comic connection and started looking at games, then i realised that i didnt used to be as much of a gamer as i was last time. now tone down a lot, another sign of become older. then we saw some christmas decoration, then i said, "oh yah christmas is coming but doesnt feel like it."

then we started to say that as we grow older, the festive season doesnt seem to affect us as much, dammit another freaking sign of getting older. then today at the bowling alley, the auntie asked how old am i then i told her i am 20 then she said

"WAH BIG BOY ALREADY HOR?"

then in my mind i was thinking

"WAH LAN EH, I AM O-L-D!!! NOOOOOO...."

oh well gotta look on the bright side yeah? at least growing old has its perks too, i guess its all about the mentality, and that is something i gotta work harder on. how i wish it was as simple as upgrading a computer or something. like take out some "teenager" chip from your brain then put in an "adult" chip. but oh well life wouldnt be called life if it was so convenient rite? haha. anyway enough about being old, cause i bet the next youtube video i am gonna share is gonna make you laugh and forget about ever being old. haha enjoy and Cheerios!

chopsticks

2007-11-09T18:59:00.001+08:00

Woohoo, i was walking on the streets then suddenly this huge comet fell and superman came out of the comet, i looked up and i saw the beautiful clouds and this rainbow. haha nahz i was talking cock. i was walking out of the lift lobby when i saw this beautiful rainbow, not very often you get to see rainbows yah? so it kinda made my day when i saw it. haha.

anyway, its must have been puzzling when the title of this post is chopsticks and the first thing you see is some freaking picture of a rainbow. well, take a look at this babe.

now you guys must be like drooling, i take it that yall are damn turned on by the chopsticks that this cute jap babe is holding on to. and DONT YOU START RIGHT CLICKING ON THESE PICTURES AND SELECTING "SAVE IMAGE AS". you can do that after you hear my explanation on these pictures. haha. this is actually an idea by triumph to create a bra that can hold reusable chopsticks cause japanese consumers still go through an estimated 25 billion pairs (90,000 tons) of disposable chopsticks each year, which amounts to 200 pairs per person which isnt very environmentally friendly.

but the weird thing is, how are these girls gonna get the chopsticks out for their meals? go toilet to take it out then eat? or just take it out in front of everyone at the kopitiam. haha. it would definitely be damn nice to see hot babes wearing such lingerie. :P haha. anyway, dont think i am some perverted sicko who hunts down such weird and porno stuff ok? cause i actually heard about this crazy invention on 987FM.

anyway they were also talking about why not have bowls in the bra also. then the female DJ said "but all got different cup sizes then some of us would just end up with saucers." haha which i thought was quite hilarious when it was coming from a female DJ. haha. anyway yall can now kindly take your mouse and go ahead and click the right click button. haha. Bernana signing out, Cheerios! oh yah another youtube video for you guys. enjoy! :)

the sim lim experience

2007-11-07T19:50:00.000+08:00

Ai seh, have ya ever played at one of those xbox 360 stations that are stationed in funan or sim lim or whichever shopping centre? haha, its really like super duper fun especially when playing a game like halo 3, the graphics and gameplay is totally fantastic, for any gamer this is the kind of experience he wants. however, has any gamer ever tried playing halo 3 in cooperation mode with a random stranger while scolding vulgarities at the same time? i am proud to say i have. haha.

but i am not saying its a good idea to just scold vulgarities in front of strangers you know? wait later you kenna wallop upside down inside out until your mum also cannot recognise you. i was just lucky that guy was cool with it and it was really spur of the moment and i was kinda high (nope i didnt drink alcohol, i just get high easily). haha.

oh one other annoying or interesting thing that happened was that some old lady in the lift asked if i was from china, cause she said i talk chinese got standard, but knn the only words i said were

十三楼，谢谢

which is "thirteen floor, thanks". she must either be some like language specialist or something sia, anyway that was interesting part, the annoying part is this is not the first time someone asked if i was from china sia!!! argh! another neighbour of mine also asked the question when we were in the lift, but this time jia lat, she said i LOOKED like a china man. i was like

KNN WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?! YOU BETTER

TAKE IT BACK OR I WILL WHOOP YOUR BLOODY

ASS!!!

but of course i didnt say that, but i must have looked like really damn jia lat sia. must be my hair. haiz time to go for some extreme makeover or some shit. gotta dress to kill in uni then can jio char bor. haha. no lahz kidding, if girls only look at the shirt you are wearing or the jeans your puny ass is wrapped with, then its like judging a book by its cover. i'd rather dress for comfort but of course still presentable lahz. haha. anyway leave yall here with another wonderful video from Y-O-U-T-U-B-E! Cheerios! :)

if life was an arcade game

2007-11-06T15:40:00.001+08:00

Finally ord loh!!! haha. i am gonna leave yall with another interesting video from youtube! haha. have fun! enjoy! take care and Cheerios!

ORD LOH!

2007-11-04T20:15:00.001+08:00

LOL! finally ORD LOH!!! i love pink! haha. i was totally exhilarated when i finally got back my pink ic and they put a sticker on my 11B to change my service status from NSF to NSMAN!!! haha. i was like damn orgasmic when i finally walked out of camp and never have to return until when i am called back for reservice. but ORD was kinda disappointing though, it did not go off with a bang but rather with a whimper. other camps i heard they have ORD parade which i think is kinda cool, then some people had ORD dinners. but oh well, all is well when you have your pink ic. haha. from now onwards, call me MISTER YEO. haha.

now like how the army song goes, "ORD back to study" so i guess what awaits me after ORD is uni life! which is what i have been damn looking forward to, cause i heard uni life is really damn enjoyable. but after hearing how some news from the gals of the '87 batch, they say uni damn xiong, got lots of tests and projects and stuff, very busy, no time to enjoy, etc etc etc. then i got abit depressed. haha. but its ok cause i also heard that despite having so little time, a lot of people get together as couples in uni. WOOHOO!!! haha.

but of course before going to uni, there is like at least 8 months where by you can do whatever thing you wanna do, can tuang at home, can play hellgate london everyday, can go bowling everyday, can buy every issue of FHM ever published and read till you drop, can upgrade yourself thru books or courses, can walk up and down orchard everyday to bio char bor, can exercise and get fit, can call chat hotlines all day long, can disturb NS guys walking on the streets by shouting ORD LOH! but most imptly is to find work!!! haha. nothing beats having your own income. haha. but oh well before that must rest a while first lah, after chiong so much, must rest then can chiong more.

休息是为了走更长的路

haha, actually its just a silly excuse for myself to tuang lah, haha. anyway driving test is around the corner, so not nice to get a job and have to take off like just 3 weeks into the job, gives a bad impression, would rather pass the test (hopefully) the first time and then get a job. haha. anyway cant wait to go bowling again and hopefully get into NUS bowling team in the future. haha. last but not least leaving yall with a funny video of a jap game show. Cheerios and

O-R-D L-O-H!!!

good to have frens everywhere

2007-11-03T23:05:00.001+08:00

haha just ripped this little comic right off an email PJ sent, thought it was kinda funny. haha. Cheerios!

AKON IS KONVICTED

2007-10-30T14:46:00.000+08:00

Nice song rite? haha. but bet yall didnt know why AKON kept saying sorry in the song and why he said you can put the blame on him. well, it was actually because he was simulating sex onstage with a underaged girl named Dana Alleyne in Club Zen in Trinidad and the thing is the club is supposed to let girls who are 21 and above into the club so it isnt AKON's fault for dry humping an underaged girl, but oh well who said it was ok to dry hump anyone in public even if the girl is above 21 years old. up to yall to judge who is in the wrong. Cheerios.

oh btw just thought yall should take a look at the indiscriminately lewd act that AKON did to the poor girl.

PC carrying a PC

2007-10-29T17:15:00.000+08:00

WAHAHAHA, can you imagine my PC carrying a personal computer (PC) walking around in bugis? haha. it was totally hilarious. cause he was attracting so much attention and people were looking at him as though he was some animal wandering about. haha. the girls were like all staring at him, they must be either thinking

"OMG WHAT A HUNK!!!"

"WTF SUCH AN OLD COM!!!"

but i bet most of the girls must be like thinking of the former, i dont think most girls would care about the boring, old, rectangular piece of thingy my PC was holding. a lot of aunties were also looking at my PC, he really like some machine gun or something, everything also kill, auntie-killer, girl-killer and even a guy-killer. haha cause when we were walking, suddenly i noticed this guy's line of sight keep trailing PC's movement, haha either he damn attracted by the computer or he is a total mega freaking gay. haha.

of course while accompanying PC to take his com, i also got my own objective, i wanted to get a leather bag for my studies in NUS and after searching high and low, going to topman, bio char bor, going to bugis street, bio some more char bor, then finally at a shop near the entrance to bugis street was where i found this,
nice rite? haha. i thought it was practical enough and nice enough for use in university. haha. anyway guess how much it is?! it was originally 29, then PC ask me to bargain, then i said "wait, slowly, relac..." then the shop owner said,

"Aiyo, heard you say already lah, haha, ok lah sell

you at 27 dollars."

although just 2 dollars i already damn happy, haha, come out buy stuff must be happy mah, wait later bargain too much, make until mood very weird, shopowner not happy, i buy already also not happy, got save 2 dollars also can. haha. anyway i am damn excited about going back to school, especially with the prospects of meeting new frens, both male and FEMALE!!! haha. i am a happy bernana especially with ORD just round the corner. haha. so guys Cheerios and let me leave yall with an EPIC LIGHTSABER BATTLE!!! Enjoy! :)

the higher you get, the harder to retract

2007-10-27T17:51:00.000+08:00

Sia lah, the title for this entry like abit porno hor? haha. but it is actually about a problem that is quite serious, it is actually the problem of not being able to retract your orders or commands due to having too high a position and the act of retracting your command would seemingly decrease the respect people have for you.

thats what most people think, this is especially so when you have to retract the order due to some smartass suggestion given by someone of a lower command, cause it would seemingly make you look stupid cause you never thought of the solution in the first place and was corrected by someone who should supposedly be more subordinate in nature and also supposedly less correct and not give good suggestions.

this problem arises due to a condition i call

"NOT-STUPID-FACE"

, known as NSF in short, the person who has a higher position in terms of leadership who suffers from this condition will have to hide his condition and thus cannot appear to be stupid after being corrected by his subordinates and thus choose to go about doing some work using his own but stupid method. and he provides even more stupid excuses along to way to justify his decision. finding excuses isnt as bad as just using the words

"CAUSE I SAID SO"

"CAUSE I AM YOUR LEADER"

or other authoritative speech to justify your stupid decision.

to treat this strange medical condition of "not-stupid-face", it is not to drink some milk enchanced with what DHA or what choline, and other dont know what fuck shit, it is also not to go for plastic surgery and try and change your already fucked up NOT-STUPID- face. the solution is to simply start listening to your subordinates, it may seem stupid cause you are the leader and they are supposed to listen and follow your orders, but trust me, when you start listening and trusting your subordinates, that is when they start respecting and trusting you. and it is this mutual trust and understanding that makes good teamwork.

you may think this is a lot of bull crap, but trust me i am telling from my own experience of looking at others and looking at myself, i used to suffer from "not-stupid-face" too and i still suffer from it now and then, so trust me and take my advice and you wont go wrong.

anyway i realised that every guy who has gone through NS would know how to endure pain as well as know how to inflict pain and also to kill, which is a very good thing in war times but just imagine, all guys you see on the streets have been "killing-trained". haha oh well just food for thought. anyway after having said so much serious stuff in this entry, i am gonna end off this entry with just a very happy song introduced to me by JiAsHeNg hope yall will enjoy it! and for the record, Cheerios and ORD LOH! haha. :)

more bowling please!

2007-10-21T14:49:00.000+08:00

Nice vid rite? haha sorry for those who cant really understand chinese though. haha. and also sorry for those who are not very bowling crazy. haha. anyway yesterday i was bowling 9 games and i realised that i have improved quite abit since i first started bowling but my progress has been damn slow. i still can get below 100 points sometimes which is damn bad for someone who bowls almost every weekend. but one thing is for sure

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

and

NOTHING BEATS PRACTICE

seriously, to really excel at something, you have to work your guts out and really give you 101%. but of course dont knn work until you peng san lah! peng san already how to improve sia. must pia but of course pia in moderation lah. its like your kar chng, sell backside too much confirm kar chng pain one what. so must slowly, take it easy but must concentrate and always keep your objective in mind.

anyway i was looking at the youtube video and i was like wishing that i had a slow motion video cam also then i can like look at my release in slow motion and find out whats wrong. and also can use video cam to bio cute char bor at bowling alley lah! haha. sometimes when you look at things in slow motion, you tend to see things more clearly cause of the details that are shown, you can see things in greater perspective in this way. its just like how some people view life, they slow things down and reflect and improve upon themselves. of course not in a literal way lah, unless you like jay chou in initial d, see things moving slower and slower. haha.

anyway just to end off this very short entry with another slow mo vid from youtube! haha. really got some interesting stuff to see, but i didnt really like the one with the bullet going through the bernana, made me feel damn uneasy. 0_0 haha enjoy and Cheerios!

down pes

2007-10-20T19:42:00.000+08:00

Wah lao, nowadays i getting lots of nicknames, one of them notably is down pes sergeant, haha but personally i prefer being called

MR. C9L2

haha cause i have officially down pes from pes A to C9L2, which is something i was quite happy about cause it meant that i would no longer be put through stuff that would put additional strain on my cui ankle. seriously although i am happy to down pes, it is never a good idea to go harm yourself in order to down pes, cause it really does cause permanent harm to your body and you are damn gonna regret it.

my ankle is now like totally busted, a little bit will sprain liao and when walking sometimes also will be pain. although the pain is still bearable, i would rather have a totally healthy ankle so that i can have freedom to do whatever i want without having to worry about spraining my ankle or having ankle pain after strenuous activity.

anyway enough about busted ankles and chao keng-ing. Yesterday was finally my last day in camp and boy am i glad that it is finally over. moreover, i pang kang earlier than the rest yesterday cause one of my pioneers generously gave up his job for me to do such that i could book out. i was freaking gan dong sia. T_T i seriously enjoyed the time i had with my pioneers, my pc and my fellow specs. i bet the times would have been better without someone in the platoon, the one who absorbs all the arrows and distributes it down to us and made our life so much harder.

anyway i was like quite sad to leave my pioneers and my fellow specs cause they seriously taught me a lot, like how to organise, how to plan, how to take care of my pioneers, how to respect one another, how to do only necessary stuff, how to lead, how to be a better man. i seriously wish the best for all of them and i will cherish the times we had and hope that when our lives do cross paths in the near future, we would be able to talk about old times and reminisce about the pain we endured and the happiness we shared. anyway i was like going around looking for my platoon guys to take photos with so that i can have a collection of ORD photos. haha.
haha superpioneer and me, the weird helmet he is wearing is dubbed the ORD helmet. haha.

me doing the last of the things on MyORD list, teaching the new birds stuff about the machine gun.

haha i already took some photos with my other pioneers but not with me now so cant put it up. but i will post them as soon as i get them. its so weird, its like 2 years just flew past, one day i was in BMT then i was in SISPEC, then in ETI (wah knn this one is heaven), then in BPCC (this one is like crazy hellhole sia.) then i was in SURVEY and SURVEY COURSE, then i was like fucking my pioneers upside down inside out, then we fought ETEP, we did sai kang, we pang kang, we did bazaar night, we did NDP, pang kang again, then we did triathlon, pang kang again, then conduct survey course then finally pang kang one last fucking time. Finally, its over and life would never be the same again.

let me once again share with you guys my fav youtube videos! haha. the first one describes how i am feeling now and the second one i just love the tune and the mtv effects. enjoy and Cheerios!!! :)

REJUVENATED!

2007-10-14T10:29:00.000+08:00

Woohoo! KNN after a good night's sleep finally i get all my energy back but thinking about tonight 9 pm must book in, the energy starts draining away again. haha. oh well, nvm always think positive, i am getting closer and closer to ORD with every passing second. haha. Anyway the week was pretty hectic but i was still pretty high especially i got over 2 very high key events which were ATP and the GPMG blank firing. then at the ATP range, there was lots of waiting so there were lots of time to catch up with the rest of the ORD personnel and talk cock about stuff.

dont yall just love talking cock? as in like just engage in harmless banter. then we start like reminiscing about the past and start telling each other cold jokes and ji siao each other and start talking about life after army etc etc. then at the range i also got interested in the rubik's cube (the one with 9 sides and different colours then must rotate until all the squares on each side are of the same colour one.) cause some guys could solve it damn fast so i guess thats another thing i can learn in order to impress char bors. haha. oh talking about char bors, i was looking at yuanzhen aka alicia's blog when i chanced upon some pick up lines in her blog. check it out yo!

Guy: Hey, is your father a terrorist?
Girl: No, why?
Guy: 'Cause you're the BOMB!

Guy: Hey, are you from Greece?
Girl: ?? No, why?
Guy: Really? 'Cause I thought all goddesses came from there!

Guy: Hey, do you like raisins?
Girl: Yes/No. Why?
Guy: Oh. How about a date?
(red date ah, you know, the dried red Chinese herby thing.)

haha i thot it is quite interesting. oh yah anyway i was quite high the whole week due to a song introduced by my new bird spec. it just kept repeating itself in my head and seriously i cant stop laughing whenever i sing it haha. its actually a parody of the myojo noodle advertisement song. haha, if yall cant really picture what the song actually sounds like, yall can ask me, i will gladly do a demo for you. haha.

快来尝尝明星面，

一碗只卖两毛钱，

吃了五天不大便，

喝了五天不小便，

真可怜！

haha. dont yall just love such stupid stuff? haha puts a smile on your face doesnt it? haha. childish song rite? haha but doesnt it just seem like yesterday when we were still all in primary school playing police and thief, hide and seek, talking about pokemon, digimon, when tamiya was like a school boy's ultimate wet dream, when bomberman was cool, when bus captains were still bus drivers, when power ranger was every kid's dream and guys would pull girl's ponytails when guys still havent start talking about FHM or MAXIM, when girls still havent realised DKNY is not pronounced as DICK-NEE. haha. sometimes it is really damn funny when we do look back at our childhood doesnt it? haha.

oh yah talking about myojo, i was at zion road hawker centre last week with papa bernana and eating my all time favourite cai tau kway, i ordered a 6 dollar plate of cai tau kway and walloped it all. haha damn shiok. papa bernana ordered a damn nice bowl of prawn mee and trust me the prawns they use are huge man, like lobsters sia. KNN when i see papa bernana eat, i was like drooling all over the table. that prawn mee you eat already confirm orgasm on the spot one. eat it together with the cai tau kway and i confirm your pants split open.

now let me show you a pic of the prawn mee.haha nice rite? i cannot show you a picture of the cai tau kway though cause i ate it up too fast and furious liao. but i can show you what is left of it.
haha. gotta love what leftovers can do. haha. anyway ORD comes for everyone so for people out there who just enlisted or still have a long way to go before ORD, trust me it is easier not to think about it, just let time past and be more optimistic, look at the glass like its half full, not half empty. anyway thats the end of the entry and left me leave yall with a funny instant noodle advertisement from thailand. haha Cheerios! :)

totally shagged out

2007-10-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

Wah KNS so long never so shag liao sia. After booking out from camp still damn shag but still managed to drag myself to Kim Seng for a bowling session. haha. the funny thing was when i bowling i didnt feel the shag-ness at all, haha i guess when you are doing something you enjoy, you wont ever feel tired. haha. anyways my eyelids are weighing a ton rite now so i shall just show yall some stuff that i think is very funny and share my experiences tmr or some other day.

first up is how china got the inspiration for the BEIJING 2008 logo. courtesy of yuanzhen's blog.
haha i thought it was quite hilarious when i saw it haha. anyways i am just going to end off here with another youtube video about beatboxing. totally amazing stuff. Enjoy and Cheerios! *yawnz*

The Unfamous Anus Show!

2007-10-06T20:14:00.000+08:00

*Mr Anus walks into the interview room*

Bernanaman: Hey, welcome again to the interview Mr. Anus! I heard that your Ramly Burger business has been doing very well. (much to my surprise...) So what are you planning next?

Mr. Anus: Actually ah i already sold my Ramly Burger business.

Bernanaman: But why?!?!?!

Mr. Anus: Cause of my name lah! I am supposed to be Unfamous, so if my business so famous then must sell lah! Like that so simple also dont understand, you very stoopid sia. not like me got certificate from Singapore's Tremendously Overly Over-Performing Individuals Department (S.T.O.O.P.I.D.) and all my fwens say i am a Damn Uber Magnificent Businessman And Superb Salesman (D.U.M.B.A.S.S.)

Bernanaman: Huh?! (Wtf?!) So you sold your business cause it was just making too much money and making you so famous?! Ok........ Anyway just out of curiosity, where did the hyphen in your name go to? It was initially Un-Famous rite? now it is just Unfamous.

Mr. Anus: Cause the stoopid place make the IC one told me no one got hyphen in their name one lah so they force me take the hyphen out lor.

Bernanaman: Orh icic (i bet no one has the word anus for their name also. haha.) Anyway tell us about your new business venture. I heard you opened a Cybercafe next to the infamous Yang Tze Cinema in Chinatown.

Mr. Anus: Yah nowadays people very into Cybercafe mahz so i thinking sure can make money one.

Bernanaman: But why open beside a porn cinema?

Mr. Anus: Ahhhh very good question. It is because hor my brudder's shop not only sell cookies, also got sell drinks so i thought this 2 in 1 idea quite good, so i thinking maybe i got porn cinema and cybercafe together is good combination also lor.

Bernanaman: Like that also can ah?

Mr. Anus: KNN OF COURSE LAHZ!

Bernanaman: Wah ok ok. Relax Mr Anus, i was just asking a casual question. (Oh man he looked like he was really gonna slaughter me AGAIN...phew). So tell me more about your unique concept.

Mr. Anus: Ok lets say those old and horny lao ah pek go watch Yang Tze show then after that they come out ah, they sure see my cybercafe one then they curious mah so they come in then i give them free 5 mins trial first, then i purposely put all the home page of my Internet Explorers to porn sites, haha so they kenna trapped liao. So they will confirm want to use more than 5 mins so i start making money liao.

Bernanaman: Wah like that ah, then other than that got any other tactics?

Mr. Anus: Haha of course have lah, my Cybercafe some more got sell porn magazine, got sell condom and most importantly, THE PILL...psst the blue colour one. Haha. So you see my cybercafe is so many things combine into one. Like one premium package like that. Haha.

Bernanaman: Wah your cybercafe is totally porn and nothing but porn sia and porn is the only attraction and your target clients are LAO TI KOs.

Mr. Anus: Smart rite? Like that then innovative mah, you tell me got how many shops in Singapore is as daring as me lah!

Bernanaman: Ok ok calm down Mr. Anus, i was just passing a casual remark (i think i better call the police, he like gonna butcher me and eat me up sia. *takes out handphone*).

Mr. Anus: OI! WHAT YOU DOING WITH YOUR HANDPHONE? DONT HAVE ANY FUCKING COURTESY WHEN TALKING TO ME?!?!?!

Bernanaman: No no!!! I was ahhhhh.....I was ahhhhh.....looking at some porn!

Mr. Anus: WHAT?! Aiyo say so earlier lah! Haha you are my kind of guy sia. Haha.

Bernanaman: Hehe thanks Mr. Anus that is very comforting to hear! (as if ah) So since your shop has been so radical, have you gotten into any trouble before?

Mr. Anus: Of course lah! Some government people come investigate, so i let them investigate lor, then dont know why hor they on the computer to check, then 15 mins later they all get heart attack and died sia. Just like all my lao ah pek customers.

Bernanaman: Wah wtf!? Your porn must be too damn fierce. Then like that how your make money?

Mr. Anus: Haha now this is where i am a genius. Everytime a customer comes in hor, i will let them sign a form which is actually a Life Insurance form and the beneficiary is me! haha smart rite? some more hor i helping cut down Singapore's ageing population you know? The President should give me medal sia. Anyway my porn not very fierce lei, cause i always watch also no tai ji but hor i heard all my customers when they died, all their blood clot at their lan jiao sia. Haiz they old already so they buay tong, not like me so strong, everyday drink Guiness with egg! Muahahahaha!

Bernanaman: Eh Mr. Anus i think lets end the interview here lah.

Mr. Anus: No no you always so nice, interview me so well so i brought something for you. *takes out Viagra and laptop*

Bernanaman: Eh eh eh Mr. Anus what you doing!?!?!?

*forces Viagra down my throat and shoves laptop in front my face*

Mr. Anus: Haha nice pictures rite? Good stuff hor? Haha.

Bernanaman: Omg I feeling abit giddy *trousers splits open, grabs chest and blacks out*

Haha, hope yall enjoyed the show! Please give me your valuable feedback! haha

- THAT'S ALL PUNKS -

mysterious and beautiful

2007-10-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

Woah today i realised that chicks will definitely dig this car, the Mitsubishi I (it is the letter "I" not the roman numeral 1), it is small, compact, yet spacious, nice handling and smooth and one of my frens is driving it! haha. anyway that was just a side note. the main thing about this post is actually this statue
it is the known as VENUS DE MILO, trust me it has nothing to do with the planet in our solar system or the chocolatey drink we have at the kopi tiam. the thing about this statue is that many are marvelled by its beauty and the reason for this beauty is its arms (or rather the lack of arms) cause it has caused people to wonder what would this beauty would actually be like with its arms around. would the arms be holding something? or would she be digging her nose? or would she be like holding a baby and breastfeeding the baby? so many questions but no answers.

or could she be like this? haha.
maybe this mystery and imagination is what captures people and constitutes her beauty. like what one of my frens once said when we were looking at FHM, he said, he prefers magazines like FHM over pornography cause FHM always take those photos like can see then like cannot see, not like pornography can see everything then no fun liao. chinese call this ruo4 ying3 ruo4 xian4. so its basically like the same idea, mystery and imagination makes FHM magazine photos more appealing but that is far from true beauty k, its just an example. haha. anyway i find girls guilty of this also, they also like looking at hunks or cute guys in their underwear and stuff. haha.

although mystery and imagination does constitute a part to something's beauty, it doesnt apply to everything k? things like your homework, your teacher wouldnt be impressed by the "BEAUTY" of your homework if didnt do your homework and left it to your teacher's imagination k? and trust me your teacher wont leave you to imagine she will call your parents, CAUSE SHE DEFINITELY WILL CALL YOUR PARENTS. and your boss wouldnt be charmed by the "BEAUTY" of your half done proposals either k?

anyway the bottomline is that

BEAUTY LIES IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER

oh yah one more thing, girls pls dont say stupid things like "anything" or "whatever" when your BFs ask you about the plan for the date when you already freaking obviously got a plan in mind ok? this isnt being mysterious, charming, or beautiful, it is just being plain childish. then when your BF dont do according to your plan, then you mood swing, cause trust me if you said your plan out, guys will be more than happy to please yall k? haha. rite guys?

oh yeah last but not least, i still think VENUS DE MILO looks nicer with her arms holding a banana, dont ya think? haha. tell me what you hope VENUS DE MILO's arms would be like k? haha. last but not least a very funny japanese commercial from youtube. haha. Cheerios! :)

got car, got chicks

2007-09-30T14:09:00.000+08:00

Holy shit, my driving instructor told me quite a while back that after i get my license and buy a car, the chicks will automatically start coming in, i was like totally happy sia cause i myself had that idea too. but damn i was totally wrong, not because i have bought a car and still no chicks but because i saw this car that totally wouldnt get you the chicks. and it is none other than

CHERY QQ

omg this car is the disgrace of all cars, its the epitome of bad design, slipshod bodywork and freaking bad quality, like one website said, "YOU NEED BALLS TO PICK THIS CHERY." cause the manufacturers did a very bad job on the bodywork, there are inconsistent panel gaps and exposed rusty edges. then the interior has bad ergonomics and the suspension totally sux, under the bonnet there is a massive front strut tower brace and anti-roll bar, both to compensate for a wobbly chassis. so with all these flaws, it just shows their heck-care attitude like that what about their engine and the car safety? i totally cant imagine sia.

this car is definitely not a car that you wanna use to attract chicks, maybe can attract people who wanna bash you up for driving a fugly car, but definitely not chicks. you wanna attract chicks, maybe you can try this, the new Misubishi Lancer EX.

haha now that is one sweet ride! not only can attract chicks, can attract guys also....ok now that sounds brokeback. haha. anyway the bottomline is, DONT BUY CHERY QQ!!! haha no lah kidding. the bottomline is if you gotta do something, do it rite, dont do halfway, like not here not there, wah lao like that how people trust you with work rite? and more imptly how your frens gonna trust you, how your gf gonna trust you, cause if you do stuff like that, what if you also treat people around you like that also. makes sense rite? haha.

anyway its time again to end an entry and time for another youtube video!!! haha. enjoy and Cheerios!

kai bu liao kou

2007-09-29T14:11:00.001+08:00

Wah lao eh, this video make me damn emo sia. cause i could really relate to it, so now i am back to being emo bernana again. haha i wonder if anyone has the same feelings that i do, cause sometimes you really like someone but just because you never make your feelings known then in the end you didnt end up with that person. doesnt it just makes you feel damn regretful? you might have had a chance if you had told her that you liked her but now she is with someone else.

then after that you start feeling like crap cause you have no idea whether to wait for her or to actually give up totally and wait for a better girl. if you decide to wait for her, then you start thinking what if the guy she is with is the one she is gonna marry, then you start thinking if you give up totally, will you be like subconsciously just looking for a substitute? which would be very unfair to the other girl.

then lets say the girl does breakup, then you dont know when to actually tell her your feelings cause you are worried that it might be too early and she might just wanna have someone to rely on until she recovers, in which case, you will become the substitute and become hurt at the end. then you think what if you wait too long and she gets attached with someone else. so in the end, you might end up waiting and waiting for that girl you are so in love with just because you are too afraid to take the first step.

so what i am trying to say is, it might be too hard and too scary to take the first step in expressing your feelings to someone but if you dont do it, you might live with the regret forever, but then again i think if the girl is a very good fren and the chances are damn slim, it is better not to jeopardise such a beautiful friendship. haha so i guess in the end i still havent figure out when and how to tell a girl that you like her and i am still damn regretful.

haha oh well thats the live of an emo bernana. but oh well must think positive, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade with it yah? haha. anyway just wanna end off this emo post with something on the lighter side, its a very popular episode of the mrbrownshow about the DAVE TEO incident. haha Cheerios! :)

bernanaman = bernard beng

2007-09-22T11:07:00.000+08:00

KNN!!! wah lao eh why my name always got funny thing happen one. haha. the ICCT instructor was putting us into details then when he was reading out the names, he said

"BERNARD BENG!"

*silence*

"BERNARD BENG!!!"

my new bird tap me and say "bernard i think its you." haha. so i look at the instructor and said

"BERNARD YEO BENG KOON?"

then he look at his detail sheet then said

"OOOOOHHHHH YAH"

then in my head i was going like wtf?!?!?!?!? haha. cause seriously ah my name people sometimes got people write wrongly, pronounce wrongly, but wah kao first time i hear people call me bernard beng sia. haha. when he call me i also stun sia, like who the hell is bernard beng? haha. anyway my name mostly people write wrongly, especially the last word, like YEO BENG KUN, YEO BENG KHOON. pronunciation ok lah, i not very particular and can use my christian name for easier pronunciation also. my initials also very funny B. K. YEO, once and for all, i have nothing related to burger king or yeo hup seng ok? haha. then my name beng koon, if switch the eng and oon then become boon keng. so my name is like fast food, drinks and MRT all rolled into one sia. LOL!

haha anyways funny names aside, i was thinking like since i have so much trouble with my name, when i have a child i am going to spare him the misery. i am gonna name him or her

YEO WHAZZUP

good name rite? haha, its unisex, its easily to pronounce, its short, good conversation starter but may have some trouble with the chinese name though haha. then maybe the christian name is HELLO so the full name is HELLO YEO WHAZZUP. wah i think my child is gonna have a troubled childhood haha.

so since i was thinking of names, i thought of some names for other people also! haha check it out.

HSIAO DING DONG
totally self-explanatory name.

LIM KOH PEE
loves caffeine.

TAN GU GU
english name is wait long long.

LEOW XI GAN
loves wasting time. good buddies with TAN GU GU.

PANDAN KEK
got a brother called CHOCOLATE and a sister called STRAWBERRY.

TEO BAE PIO
TOTO and 4D never fails him.

CHUA TIO
easily shocked.

CHEW YING GAM
trafficks chewing gum.

CAI TAU KWAY
eats carrot cake for every meal.

YEO WHAZZUP
troubled child of bernanaman.

haha now i just hope no one some kills me for ruining their surnames. anyway ICCT is finally over and sparring is very shagged but fun and seriously ICCT very hard to fail, most impt of all they wanna see aggression and i think if every soldier is like the kid in the video i am gonna show you, singapore confirm can win any war haha. so sit back and enjoy the show!

fierce bastard rite? haha. ok hope yall enjoy this entry and like usual i am gonna end this entry with another funny video so enjoy watching, have a wonderful weekend and Cheerios! haha.

diarrhoea fever vomitting

2007-09-18T12:35:00.000+08:00

Wah kao sibei sian, why do such suay things always befall on me. FOOD POISONING?!?!?! omg why sia. i know i am the most greedy keng1 jio1 (bernana) on earth but why punish me in such an ironic way sia. i love food so much yet food made me get so sick. its like sex, you love sex so much but casual sex made you get HIV. ok nvm that sounds like a wrong analogy. ok so i might have been abit casual about my eating habits but seriously the punishment that my mind, my body and literally my soul had to take over the past few days in conquering this virus was totally immeasurable.

waking up to a hearty breakfast today bought by papa bernana i was damn glad that i could finish up the whole meal cause i could not finish a full meal at all since saturday when my ordeal began. so here i am, back to being the bernana i used to be. anyway when i was at A&E at SGH on saturday, i was squealing and bending over like a girl with menstrual cramps. i was totally and seriously in pain, then doctor saw me after 2 hours, then suddenly no more pain in stomach. cause KNN she poked my arse, then FREAKING put some needle in my hand and HAPPILY injected like 3 medicine into me so now my stomach pain transfer all over my body liao. but i was happy lahz cause it made me feel more comfortable. the pain was much more bearable after that.

anyway in between more puking, diarrhoea, rehydrating myself, sleeping, constant observation of my vital signs by docs and nurses, urine tests and blood withdrawals, there is an occasional perk of seeing a cute doc or cute nurse who is damn gentle and kind and patient. no wonder singapore's healthcare is excellent. anyway sidetracking abit ah, i realised that to effectively help someone who is in very bad pain, for example your gf's having menstrual cramps, it is best not to use an army approach.

lets say your gf is having menstrual cramps, you thought as her bf you should like console her, give her some encouragement or something, but please dont do and say stupid stuff like,

"COME ON COME ON YOU CAN DO IT!!! MIND

OVER BODY MIND OVER BODY!!!" *SINGS PURPLE

LIGHT*

can imagine her constipated face after you say that? haha. KNN trust me, your gf will seriously whack you upside down inside out, then hang your F**KING BALLS. so P-L-E-A-S-E dont do anything stupid unless you seriously dont cherish your balls or your gf.

anyway i just finished taking out the stitches for my wisdom tooth and on my way back home, as i entered the lift, i immediately got a whiff of the strong and familiar smell of DETTOL, so i thought the cleaners must have just came. however, it was this lady whose dog had urinated in the lift who did the cleaning. it might not seem like a big deal, but imagine the civic mindedness of this nice lady, she could have cared less, left the dog pee there, blame it on someone else, wait for tmr's routine cleaning, or even asked the dog to poop there since its already dirty. we could all use abit of civic mindedness in today's society of the harsh, the fast and the dirty. so sometimes lets take a little moment to just do a little something for the community.

anyways ending this entry with a nice video of an amazing save by a goalkeeper. sorry to bother yall with the gross details of my ordeal. haha. anyway Cheerios! :)

wisdom tooth part II

2007-09-12T11:07:00.000+08:00

So, here it is once again, another wisdom tooth operation and another 5 days of att c!!! woohoo!!! haha. ok but once again i have to put up with the pain and boredom and the inability to eat some of my favourite food again. but its all good cause i dont think wisdom teeth will respawn so this is the end of my journey for my wisdom tooth surgeries. haha.

oh yah something rather funny happened as the dentist was operating on my wisdom teeth. his stomach rumbled, and it was a pretty loud rumbling that even i and the nurse heard. so there was sort of a dialogue between the nurse and the dentist.

* rumbling of stomach *

* louder rumbling of stomach *

* louder and longer rumbling of stomach *

Nurse: *giggled* you havent had your breakfast?

Dentist: haha not you rumbling ah?

Nurse: its coming from you haha.

Dentist: lol i thought is you.

Bernanaman: *giggled* (dentist scolds me for laughing at him)

haha no lah the doctor didnt scold me for laughing at him lahz. the people at NDC are really super nice. their service is excellent but dont go there and ji siao siao lahz, they wont hesitate to pluck all your teeth out, seriously.

anyway i guess the doctor must have worked until he forgot about his breakfast or brunch. haha. we all gotta take care of ourselves yah? dont ever forgot about your precious stomach, or it will give you awkward and funny moments like this, haha, imagine you kissing with your gf or bf halfway then suddenly you stomach growls like a dog or something. maybe you might find it kinky, but personally it spoils the mood for me. haha.

although this was the second wisdom tooth surgery, i was still abit nervous, although i knew what to expect and the process of the surgery, i still had butterflies in my stomach albeit the feeling was milder than the first time when i was still a newbie. haha. you know somethings will still make you nervous no matter how many times you done it, like exams, like a job interview, an oral presentation of your project, a first date with the girl you have been secretly in love with for damn long, getting married, getting divorced haha. but of course it doesnt apply to daily stuff like going to toilet to do your business, or like watching some explicit videos on your com, or eating food. dont tell me you hyperventilate everytime you go pass motion or pee k? cause i will freaking take my freaking hand and freaking slap your freaking face, you understand me, you shit-a-holic. haha.

anyway my PC was kinda suay cause he had to wait damn long for his surgery, his appointment was earlier than mine but when i finished my surgery, he was still waiting. haha. anyway i love to listen to music to match my mood so since i am very happy now, i am gonna share a youtube video of rainie yang's new song from her new album entitled "ren yi men". enjoy and Cheerios!

hokkien version of hairspray

2007-09-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

"HOKKIEN VERSION OF HAIRSPRAY"

That was exactly what CHAI LAI said after watching 881. haha finally went to watch 881, it was seriously an emotional rollercoaster ride. then in between the ups and downs, there were spurts of hokkien, teochew, ang moh and chinese, like a rojak of languages and with laughter and hokkien songs to spice things up abit, all i gotta say is well done royston, simply well done. in a nutshell, this movie that has topped the singpore box office for the past few weeks, is definitely not a letdown and is a must watch, full of singapore flavour and is a masterpiece set to take the world by storm, showcasing singapore's unique culture and warm and strong relationships dwelling in the heartlands and in the hearts of every singaporean.

anyway with regards to my previous posts about weird questions, today somebody made a very weird exclamation. i am not going to say who the person is so as to protect his privacy (hey..his name is SHAWN LEE WEI CHONG) so even if you like beat me up, put a monkey ramp up my ass and then explode it with plastic explosives, i still wont tell you. anyway we were walking in DAISO in plaza singapura then we walk to this part which had some interesting cigarette stuff like filters and portable ashtrays and we were all bombarding LYS (who knows a lot of jap stuff) with lots of questions on what this and that is for, cause the rest of us couldnt read jap for nuts.

then as we were walking around and constantly Woo-ing and Wow-ing at lots of interesting stuff, The One Whom I Shall Not Name, just suddenly took up a packet of tea leaves and exclaimed,

"WAH!!! YOU PUT THIS IN WATER AND IT

BECOMES TEA!"

so i was like,

"OMG THIS IS THE BEST INVENTION OF THE 21ST

CENTURY!"

cause usually when i make tea, i must like put my Lipton teabag inside the microwave, send it to outer space, where an alien would zap it into a meteor that comes speeding down to my house and then crashes into my kitchen and cracks open to reveal a cup of tea which harry potter must cast a spell on, which POOFS into some purple smoke, then it is safe for drinking. this packet of tea leaves will definitely save me some trouble hor? haha ok lahz shall not make fun of my PC anymore.

tmr is my WISDOM TOOTH SURGERY!!! haha. damn happy cause got att c after that but also damn scared cause the feeling of going in for surgery is still abit intimidating. anyways going to sleep now so going to end off with a youtube video of this guy called kevjumba and his video entitled "stupid questions". kevjumba is very popular on youtube so his video would definitely not disappoint but dont just look at his videos and dont read my blog k?! haha or i will beat you up, put a monkey ramp up your ass and then explode it with plastic explosives. ^_^ haha Cheerios!

weird questions

2007-09-09T14:00:00.000+08:00

Hey dudes and dudettes! isn't today a bright and sunny day? ahhh damn it i hate the hot weather, how i wish it was as cooling as the previous few days when the sky was damn cloudy. anyway enough yak-katty-yak about the weather, lets cut to the chase. do yall sometimes experience some weird questions coming from your parents or relatives or frens? my fren DD had a totally out of this world experience when MH called him early in the morning. it was raining and DD just woke up and the first thing MH said on the phone was,

"HEY DD WHY ISIT RAINING AH?"

then DD became a bit du lan cause early in the morning, he just woke up and he gets such a FREAKING, STUPIDLY STUPID QUESTION!!! haha. i mean like if MH asks "hey DD your side raining?" or "hey DD rain very big hor?" like that still ok lahz but he asks,

"HEY DD WHY ISIT RAINING AH?"

poor DD didnt know whether to laugh or to cry or to just F**K MH upside down inside out. haha. anyway my mum sometimes ask me weird questions also. for example when i come back home and the first thing she asks when i step into the door is, "hey ah boy you come back liao ah." then in the back of my mind i am thinking "no no i just going out, OF COURSE I AM BACK LAH!" haha. then sometimes when i eating, my mum will come ask me, "hey ah boy eating lunch ah?" then i thinking "omg what does it look like i am doing, praying to the noodles ah?" lol. but of course all i think only lahz, never say out, after all she is mama bernana.

anyway my fren PJ sent an email to me and i can very much relate to its contents so i thot i'd let you guys check it out too. haha.

THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION :
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING :
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE :
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC :
"Because I said so, that's why." & "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE :
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD :
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP :
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" (maybe you can help answer MH's question about "why isit raining?" haha.)

My Mother taught me HUMOR :
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS :
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS :
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE :
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about RETRIBUTION:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."

My mother taught me RELIGION :
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL :
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me FORESIGHT :
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY :
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS :
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM :
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA :
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER :
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY :
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE :
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY :
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

lol. hope yall had fun reading that. anyways ending my post with another youtube video. Enjoy! Cheerios!

haha moral of the story? work for FEDEX instead.

girl at the arcade

2007-09-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hey!!! you know sometimes when you go out to town or wherever then once in a while you see this girl or guy that looks like the type that you like? but not many people will have the chance or guts to actually get to know this girl or guy just by going up to them on the streets and saying "hi". but holy shit i am one damn lucky guy. haha. because on thursday our company was having company off, so i went out with my pc, mr potato, and mosey to plaza singapura to watch RATATOUILLE (RAT-A-TOO-EE). so while waiting for our movie to start, we wandered off to the arcade to kill time.

so we were like walking walking and walking then suddenly this person bumped into me, my first reaction was,

"KNN NB WTF?!?!?! ARE YOU BLIND OR NOT?!?!?"

of course i didnt say that lah, and thank god that i didnt cause the person who bumped me was a girl and a very cute one also. after she bumped into me then she turned around and said sorry in a very sweet voice. then i was like,

"KNN NB WTF?!?!?! CAN GIVE ME UR NUMBER?!?!?!"

haha but of course i didnt say that lahz, i just said sorry in return. wah but the feeling hor is damn shiok. haha. i know yall sure say i damn buaya, aiyo but once in a while let me shiok can or not, lol not everyday got some cute girl bump into me, you know? some people damn shuai so no lack of girls liking them but i no looks mahz haha so once in a while got cheap thrill also good lahz. haha. anyway i was thinking of those guys who go clubs and dont really dare to go up to girls to get to know them and i wanted to help them so i thot of this pick up line. sure can get girl one. you go up to the girl and you tell her your name

Bernanaman: "hey sexy, my name is bernanaman, remember it well, you know why?"

Sexy: "why??"

Bernanaman: "cause you will be screaming it later. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

hmmm, on second thot, pls dont use my suggestion. haha. anyway its time for more darth vader stuff, for soundaholics out there, yall will enjoy this! Cheerios!

wah icct!

2007-09-05T20:58:00.000+08:00

Wah seh! this week is icct week sia. i bet all army guys will know what icct means. it means more tekan tekan and some more tekan! haha but no lahz in unit already, so not much tekan one. anyway icct was quite ok, in fact it was quite fun although i already learned most of the things in SISPEC. wah but my sparring fren is damn fierce sia! KNN! he tore my pants until got one lobang! wtf!? haha but i also like twist his arms and wrist until he like some contortionist like that so i guess we are even. lol!

anyway i bet singapore has been shocked by the damn stupid and super rash nsf that brought a SAR 21 rifle out of camp with some live ammo. wah lao he damn fierce sia, since he already brought out the rifle and live ammo, might as well da bao a few grenades go home also. i mean like wtf sia?! one more month to ord and he does this stupid stunt. the first day when the news came out i was like knn nb what can force a nsf to forgo his ord like that sia. then finally the truth was revealed today in the newspaper. it was because of a girl or more specifically his ex-girlfren.

after i read that its about his gf then i thought wah lao eh dont sad lahz, i mean no need so depress until need to do such things mah. maybe can go club then find some other char bor also shiok what. lol. what i mean is dont do until so drastic lahz if not meant to be then like that lor. depress come read my blog lah! sure wont depress one. haha. or just leave a tag on my tag board, i recommend some pretty girls for you lah! i got a lot of lobang one ok?

see? my lobang good rite? hahah kidding lahz. anyway i havent been in his position before so i shouldnt be saying things like he is stupid or crazy or whatever. cause considering his relationship has been going on for 3 years and his gf was the one who dumped him, i can imagine the pain but what i am trying to put across is maybe he should have looked on the bright side cause HE LOST SOMEONE WHO DIDNT KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE HIM and HIS GF LOST SOMEONE WHO LOVED HER DEARLY. anyway the girl was saying he was very possessive that kinda thing so oh well guys and girls who are being too possessive should try to tone down. oh well like they always say, in a relationship, COMMUNICATION is most important and that is very very true. So, as always to end my posts on the lighter side, i have posted a funny video from youtube. haha enjoy and Cheerios!

The Un-Famous Anus Show!

2007-09-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

Welcome guys and gals to the very long awaited premier of The Un-Famous Anus Show! Haha lets cut to the chase and carry on the show!

*Mr Anus walks into the interview room*

Bernanaman: Hey, welcome to the interview Mr. Anus! I heard that you are a very good businessman so we decided to give you this interview to give our local youngsters some good ideas on how to become successful entrepreneurs. Firstly, i heard you are related to the very well known cookie shop!

Mr. Anus: Yes, that one is my younger brudder, he sell cookie until very famous but i also got my own way of doing business but you know sometimes must take some idea from here and there then can start business so i took some ideas from my brudder's shop lor.

Bernanaman: Oh that's very true, so what kind of business did you start?

Mr. Anus: First hor, i look at my brudder's shop then i see he sell cookie but his cookie different wor, got nuts one, got chocolate chip one, got brown one got black one so i decided to sell Ramly Burger.

Bernanaman: Huh?! (Wtf?!) Eh ok i don't really see the link so would you kindly elaborate?

Mr. Anus: Eh your ang mor very cheeeem lei, what is EEE-LAH-BOO-RRAPPE?

Bernanaman: Eh means can explain some more? Haha. (wah elaborate become elaborape. knn.)

Mr. Anus: ORH!!! Never say properly. Youngsters nowadays, haiz! I set up Ramly Burger shop but my Ramly Burger although looks the same on the outside as other people one but my one different on the inside, just like my brudder's cookies.

Bernanaman: Oh i see! So whats different about your Ramly Burgers?

Mr. Anus: First of all, my burgers got fruits inside the meat patty, got strawberry, got banana, got papaya, got watermelon, got honeydew, got durian, got jackfruit etc. Then, people use egg to cover the patty, i use Oreo cookies, like that then got added crunchy texture mahz.

Bernanaman: Are there really customers at your shop?

Mr. Anus: KNN OF COURSE LAHZ!

Bernanaman: Wah ok ok. Relax Mr Anus, i was just asking a casual question. (Oh man he looked like he was really gonna slaughter me...phew). So besides the patty and egg, what else is different?

Mr. Anus: My sauce also different! My sauce is secret recipe one, normally i don't tell people but neber mind, you look like nice guy so i tell you, its actually just mayonnaise plus MY SALIVA. Then i even give my customer choice to add phlegm or don't add phlegm, add phlegm another 50 cents. But not always i got phlegm one mahz so that one must special order.

Bernanaman: (Wah kaoz!? Confirm this guy psycho or not?!?!?! KNN siao one sia!) Wah! You are very creative! What do customers say after eating your burgers?

Mr. Anus: Haha. Creative right? No wonder my fwens say i am a Damn Uber Magnificent Businessman And Superb Salesman (D.U.M.B.A.S.S.). Muahahahaha! Oh my customers say my burger too sweet cause too many fruits and because of the Oreos so i made a special version one, i dip the whole sesame seed bun in sea water from the Dead Sea. Exotic rite? Just listening to it makes your mouth water hor?

Bernanaman: Woah you got really nice friends hor? Haha. (omg, hes a stupid asshole) Wah it really does sound damn delicious (as delicious as garbage. haha.).

Mr. Anus: Oi, why you laughing to yourself? You abit weirdo, must go checkup. Of course i got nice fwens lahz! i also got a very nice certificate saying i very CLEVER one. Its a certificate from Singapore's Tremendously Overly Over-Performing Individuals Department (S.T.O.O.P.I.D.)

Bernanaman: Haha. So how much does your burger cost?

Mr. Anus: It sells for three-fifty.

Bernanaman: Oh $3.50 is quite pricey for just a burger but for all the "creativity" i guess it might be worth it.

Mr. Anus: What?! $3.50? My burger is $350!!! And where got expensive!? KNN got my special secret recipe sauce lei! Where else have?! Some more you say might be worth it!? ITS FUCKING WORTH IT OK?! YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!

Bernanaman: Ok ok sorry sorry! Don't be angry Mr. Anus. I am really very very sorry. I heard you eat your own burgers everyday also cause its very nutritious.

Mr. Anus: Of course! Come i eat for you to see.

*Munches*

*Munches some more*

*Continues munching*

*Sucks in air*

*Spits the freaking burger out*

Bernanaman: Wah wtf!? Why you spit it out!?

Mr. Anus: Thats another design of my burger lah! You chew then absorb the nutrients then spit it out, cause got one time i eat down, i cannot pang sai for one whole week, the burger like a stopper like that stuck at my anus there. but after one week of sai, then wah the pressure too big. The stopper just shoot out like a rocket ah! Then my shit like Niagra Falls come out. Damn shiok ah! I brought another burger for you also. Special edition one, got 2 times the sauce and 2 times the patty.

Bernanaman: Eh i just plucked my wisdom tooth, i think i shall just thank you for the treat.

Mr. Anus: No no, must eat one. Please, it is a token of my appreciation for interviewing me.

Bernanaman: Eh really no need lah.

Mr. Anus: Wah knn you si2 gin2 na4! Don't give Lim Peh face right!? *forces burger down my throat*

Bernanaman: *Gasps* Nooooo! Please noooooooooo! My wisdom tooth ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Haha, hope yall enjoyed the show! Please give me your valuable feedback! haha

- THAT'S ALL PUNKS -

bowling bowling bowling!!!

2007-08-30T18:24:00.000+08:00

Ai seh! today went SAFRA Mount Faber for bowling! haha. wah not so easy to be a spinner sia. see those website say must not move wrist, must maintain dont know what posture etc etc. wah lao i read already also headache then when trying it out today, knn not so easy sia, i only got it right like 4 or 5 times only out of 5 fucking games! haha. sorry about the profanities! but i consider it improvement liao wor cause i still rmb the first time i bowl, i threw the ball backwards towards my frens sia! haha. they were all like scolding KNN! NB! FUCK YOU! WAH KAOZ! some were just rolling on the floor laughing, haha.

oh yah two of my new birds just came back from taiwan and china so they bought some souvenirs for us. one of them bought boxers for us!!! haha taiwan boxers really damn cool sia. he gave me a damn ah beng one. now i wear that one i think i look like tai2 ke4! haha but i love it! i love being beng, i think i have always been an ah beng at heart, haha cause i like ah beng car (subaru wrx), i like ah beng boxers, i like ah beng song, i like techno, i love to listen to people speaking hokkien, i like to drink beer, likes squatting down in an ah beng kind of way (squat like when using squatting toilets, then arms supported by the knee.), likes to bio char bor etc. haha.

but oh well cannot be too beng lahz, wait later no girl like bernanaman then jia lat so can only be ah beng at heart, then must present myself as like a non-ah beng haha. so hypocrite hor? haha.

anyway one of my buddies and i did realise that we NSF do scold a lot of vulgarities, a substantial increase from before we enlisted budden we also realise that we guys all got one switch. our brain like computer then in the MY DOCUMENTS folder got store char bor, got store games, got store vulgarities so when go out with char bor, then we turn on the switch then the VULGARITIES folder gets deleted budden ah when no more char bor around then we go the RECYCLE BIN then we restore VULGARITIES! haha. dont know if other guys got notice or not haha.

AH BENG SONG!

FIERCE DRAGON BOXERS! HAHA

see? i am a totally absolutely tremendously ah beng person at heart hor? haha anyways today is SHIT (Sorry Honey Its Thursday) but oh well tmr is TGIF!!! haha. Cheerios everyone!

no more stitches!!!

2007-08-27T16:39:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!!! no more stitches loh!!! just removed my stitches for my wisdom tooth and baby tooth today haha and made a new appointment for the other remaining 2 wisdom tooth. just for everyone's information, the next one would be on the 11th of september(just in case i get mistaken for AWOL haha). anyway i think one of the very few benefits of having an 11b is actually the free medical stuff, cause if you do go and check out the price of plucking wisdom tooth it is around 500 to 600 bucks, which is so darn freaking expensive, so boy am i glad it is free and most fucking importantly, there is 5 days MC!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!! haha. sorry about the vulgarities again!

haiz tonight have to go back camp again. so sian, its like having the feeling of wanting to AWOL cause havent been to camp for so long then now have to go back again. SIAN AH!!! but oh well at least got some consolation, can see my new birds again! haha. i wonder if yall got this feeling before, whether at school or at work, sometimes on a very dull day, the only motivation that seems to get you studying or working or even just waking up and going to school and going to work is your frens and colleagues. when you can meet up with them to talk about everything under the sun and crack jokes (whether dirty jokes, lame jokes or just blonde jokes), eat together, kao pei together, bio2 char1 bor4 together, have fun together etc, it just makes the day seem not that dull anymore.

pai say ah abit emo-bernana again. haha cause listening to this emo song entitled "hey there delilah". anyway my fren DD was cracking a joke about selling backside to earn more money in order to go for DJ lessons. talking about selling backside as a joke is ok but then it set me thinking, would anyone really go sell backside? haha, maybe not for money, maybe for passion (*vomits*), maybe for ORD (stupid), maybe for ROD (smart haha), maybe for fun (epitome of dumbness), maybe for love(for gays), maybe for no reason at all(mentally unstable)? haha. just a strange sidetrack there. anyways i just love beatboxing so much that i went to sell backside (nahz i am just kidding haha).

i had a wonderful dream last night where i was totally beatboxing like a pro, how i wish i could do that and really impress people (particularly girls haha). so now that i have removed my stitches i can finally resume my practice for beatboxing! haha. sometimes, it really sets me thinking how come i have such weird dreams. haha. oh well, thats a story for another day! just wanna show yall some good beatboxing videos, so just sit back, relax and enjoy the show! Cheerios! :)

fart man of the year -----> bernanaman

2007-08-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

Whazzup! haha. wah today was really a really bad day as in like uber super fuking bad day. sorry about the profanities again, haha anyways the day started with the AHM 12 km run but before that was waking up at 5:30 am and you know what was worst than that?! being woken up at 5:30 am while you are having a dream about having a delicious buffet! omg i was like going to dig into my colossus serving of Kobe beef (you know the beef from those cows that gets massages, drinks beer and listens to classical music) then i was woken up by my father's familiar voice, saying

"OI BERNANA WAKE UP LAH, 5:30 AM ALREADY!"

i almost replied

"OI KNN DON'T DISTURB LIM PEH EAT KOBE BEEF"

but obviously i didnt cause he is after all papa bernana so oh well my Kobe beef went up in smoke, so brush teeth, changed clothes, went to 7-11 to get bread to eat, headed down to floating platform. then we started to run at around 7am. once again tons of army guys were there so it was a tremendous ba4 diao2 festival again. then when we all saw some chio bus in the band at the starting point, the ba4 diao2 festival escalated to a full blown taiwan sausage festival then at the national stadium where cheerleaders with miniskirts were cheering us on. the taiwan sausage festival just went up a notch to german sausage festival which had totally no signs of stopping any time soon.

anyway side tracking abit, if any of your frens smell like damn smelly fart gas along the 12km route from fort road all the way to nicoll highway it most probably was due to holy sincerely bernanaman. haha i was letting gas all the way in continuous yet consistent spurts, haha dont ask me why, but may be due to the 7-11 bread. haha. people behind me must have gone thru this transition ('_') ---> (0_0) ---> (X_X). lol anyway after the run ended, i just went home, bathe and retired to the sweet comforts of my cozy bed.

so last but not least ending off this with something that will leave you thinking, "hmm maybe this is much cheaper and more effective than the bikini wax i have been planning for." one advice though, "DONT TRY THIS, SERIOUSLY DONT, I AM FUKING SERIOUS! DONT DONT DONT, AM I GETTING THRU TO YOU? NO?? DAMNIT, OH WELL GOOD LUCK TRYING THEN. HAHA."

next is just something funny i wanted to share, enjoy!!! haha.

anyway i have some advice, dont eat too much papaya cause your shit will stink really a lot! haha. and dont ever mix this toxic concoction of eggs, potato and baked beans in your food cause trust me, you will be a walking, talking, farting bomb. haha HAPPY FARTING! Cheerios!

woohoo!!! my neopets got 10 million

2007-08-25T15:34:00.001+08:00

WOOHOO!!! my neopets got 10 million, finally after like 3 years of waiting, playing with the stockmarket, collecting interest from the bank and zhng-ing my neopet. hey dont laugh guys! haha it may seem very stupid but look at it in a different way, people sell their MMORPG accounts for money, i am just taking a different approach. maybe now i can finally start like selling accounts and making money from there. not bad huh? haha.

anyway just thought i'd share a very weird experience i had while i was in JC. after school one day, i went to the bedok south hawker centre, the one near the mrt station, the sell a lot nice food one like carrot cake and got one stall sell a lot of fried food, their goreng pisang and their green tapioca thingy damn nice. you eat already damn orgasmic one. so i went to the hawker centre to take a dump. so i went into the toilet and into the cubicle, then when i was "WORK IN PROGRESS", the cubicle beside me had this noise coming from it, "hmm, ahhh, hmm, hmm, ahhh..." then i was thinking to myself.

"KNN WTF SMLJ!"

the guy next door either had shit the size of jupiter and as hard as diamond and had piles the size of golf balls OR he was whacking off in a public toilet. i was seriously hoping the guy was just really enjoying shitting. cause i totally cant imagine like is anyone so desperate that he has to use a public toilet to whack off!?!?!? anyway i posted a picture of the culprit's photo at the end of this entry so yall can go like either curse that despo like mad or just make him part of your happy shitters fanclub. so once again ending off my entry with something on the lighter side. haha. Cheerios!

CULPRIT

lol you really did think i would actually put the guy's photo up, didnt you? haha.

platoon cohesion

2007-08-24T19:31:00.000+08:00

Ai seh platoon cohesion was quite an interesting event. 3 of us went to raffles city to buy some bread to fill bernanaman's stomach, then we went HMV at citylink mall where my PC took some interesting photos. gotta say he makes photos taken using a handphone camera look quite good. heres a preview.

next, the rest of the gang came to look for us at HMV then we headed down to Pizza Hut at marina square where we had lunch, we had a very long, no, damn long, no, freaking long, no, we had a uber super F**KING longest wait in the history of mankind at pizza hut for our lunch but it did give us some chance to crack jokes, and chit chat and just tuang at pizza hut. oh well, in the end lunch ended up becoming tea break. heres some photos of us at pizza hut.

after our lunch or rather tea break, we had 2 games at the bowling alley in Marina Square, it was then that i realised that my bowling skills sucked as in like totally sucks. i got an average of about 50? haha. anyway my pioneers were much better, they were scoring like 100 plus or close to hundred. gotta admire those guys man. i bet if they play even better they can definitely raise the eyebrows of some girls in the bowling alley. i think guys must have a trick or two up their sleeves or rather some skill or game that they are really good at, i bet the charm that exudes from a guy who DOES HIS THING would score damn a lot of points with the gals.

anyway we were all bowling normally but then this girl came in and boy were we happy then suddenly we were all like really striving our best to bowl. haha isnt that an amazing thing that happens whenever a bunch of BUAYAS hang out and suddenly see one pretty gal. anyway the sad thing was the girl didnt come alone, 4 guys were with her!!! DAMNIT!!! and that reminded me of something my PC said yesterday, he said that he got guy frens telling him that

"ALL THE GOOD GIRLS HAVE BEEN TAKEN"

and he got gal frens telling him that

"ALL THE GOOD GUYS HAVE BEEN TAKEN"

wah lao like that how sia?! knn! i agree with him about all the good girls have been taken or rather, we just havent met a good girl who hasnt been taken. but let me clarify to all, the definition of good girls dont just refer to their looks ok? for the second comment about all good guys being taken, i hope some girls can tell me if it is really true, just leave comments on my tag board! thanks! haha.

haiz sian, now i thinking whether isit i havent been a good enough bernana for good gals to notice or really no nice female bananas out there. knn EMO bernana is in da house. anyways we ended our bowling session around dinner time and everybody just dispersed from there.

oh yah btw i just realised one of the SUPER PIONEERS in the platoon is really damn super cause he walked out of HMV with a CD without paying. haha but wasnt his fault lah! cause we saw the rest of the guys walking past HMV and we were so excited that we walked out of HMV with DA4 LAN3 holding on to the CD in his hand and the weird thing was the alarms never went off! haha somewhat proving that it might be true that only 75% of the stuff will actually set off alarms. he was damn lucky the CD was part of the 25%. he wanted to go back to HMV to give back the stuff but we told him not to cause oh well MR LAW and MR JUSTICE arent exactly very reasonable guys. anyways Cheerios!

!!!DA4 LAN3 WANTED!!!

REWARD $999,999,999,999

blown up plane

2007-08-23T13:51:00.000+08:00

Ai seh, for those people who actually do watch the news, yall would not have missed out on the china airlines plane which blew up in an airport in okinawa, japan. doesnt that remind all of us dangers are always lurking around the corners? imagine what would happen, if one, just one of the passengers didnt make it out in time. you'd never know what to expect, you never know when death might hit you. which lets us come to the conclusion life is indeed very fragile, but you know whats the most scary thing about death is? it isnt death itself, but the sadness that you will never ever see or touch the things that you really care about, like your friends, families, your pet, your computer games, your zhng-ed up car, your visits to MOS or Zouk etc. so we should all cherish our lives and live our lives to the fullest, every single day, every single hour, every single minute, every single second, so that when we do kick the bucket we will kick the bucket with as little regrets as possible. hey but that doesnt mean you go try all sorts of things like take drugs, smoke marijuana or any other sort of crimes (thats why they are called crimes! DUH!). it also doesnt mean you BE TOO PARANOID and tell this to your mum.

"AH BU AH BU WA AI SI LIAO LAH!!!"

cause she will most probably reply.

"SIAO GIN NA! MAI SIAO LAH! KNN!"

then she takes out her cane and starts to whack you till you come to your senses. so seriously dont do anything stupid like this which will prematurely cause you to go sell sian2 ya1 dan4. haha.

anyway i always like to end my posts on a lighter note so i decided to show this youtube video of this girl who is very popular is the UK, you can search her on youtube by typing cutiemish. so enjoy her cute rendition of the fast food song. Cheerios!

nothing to do at home

2007-08-22T12:02:00.000+08:00

Ai seh! the title of this entry says it all. i have freaking nothing to do at all at home! NOTHING! NUTHING! N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!! except playing psp, listening to mp3, watching anime, updating blog etc. but seriously 5 days mc everyday do the same thing really end up with nothing to do. so i started thinking about uni life, how it would be like, would food be good(lol thinking about food again), would exam be super hard etc. most imptly how to jio girls! haha cause from what i heard, it is truly hard to find chio girls in engineering faculty. although mechanical engineering is my passion, i still cant shake away the thought about how few girls there would be in engineering. haiz...oh well just gotta pray damn hard yah? maybe it isnt that hopeless after all cause after going to the channel u website www.channelu.sg/hey for their newest show, i did see a glimmer of hope.

the girl above is from NUS Engineering Faculty!!! woohoo!!! haha in the words of koon yuan, she is the GND type. Ai seh! nice rite? haha. alright i admit it i am damn BUAYA but oh well dont all guys hope to get to know someone who is cute and has a good character whom he can eventually spend his entire life with?? haha. carry on dreaming bernanaman carry on dreaming, dreaming is free one what! who would wanna spend their entire life with a yellow banana?!?!?! haha. anyways ending off this entry with a cute youtube video! haha Cheerios!

wisdom tooth

2007-08-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!!! finally got 2 of my wisdom tooth out and my baby tooth out but still got another 2 more wisdom tooth. haha. now i starting to wonder if the 5 days mc is really worth it. cause first of all the pain from the injection prior to the surgery was quite painful and after the surgery, cant eat this cant eat that. KNN!!! NB!!! KNS!!! i love eating the most! people eat to live, i live to eat sia! anyway sorry for the profanities! haha. just cant wait till it heals and eat my fav Carls Junior again. but seriously ah after the injection, you cant feel a damn thing during the surgery, you just feel pressure and hear strange sounds but no pain at all. gotta love anaesthetic. just thought i'd show the teeth that was plucked out of my oral orifice! ENJOY! haha.

the one on the left is my baby tooth and the one in the middle is my top left wisdom tooth and the right one is my bottom left wisdom tooth. hope the tooth fairy give me a good price for these haha. anyway Cheerios! :)

First Post

2007-08-21T00:07:00.001+08:00

Ai seh finally got my blog all set up and with much help from my PC and my new bird spec. alrighty i actually wanted to start a blog a long way back just that i didnt really have the time, so now since i have the time (cause i going to ord soon. WOOHOO!!!) i thot maybe its a good time to start so here i am with my first post. dont really know what to say for my first post though so oh well i think i will just end off here and start putting some interesting stuff in my next post. anyway gtg sleep if not i will wake up late for my wisdom tooth surgery! haha. Cheerios!